


YouTuber Big Brother

by cafephan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Big Brother AU, Slow Burn, i'll add more tags as the fic progresses i don't want to give too much away too soon yk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafephan/pseuds/cafephan
Summary: Twelve hopefuls are locked in a house together for up to a month, all battling it out to come out victorious and take home £100,000. All they have to do is survive the tasks, the rations, each other, and the all-seeing eye of Big Brother and the viewing public.





	1. Things to Know & Rules

  * This fic is based on the UK format/version of Big Brother, as that is the one I watch religiously. I apologise if you watch a different country’s format and this fic ends up being different to the one you’re used to, but it’ll be really simplistic and easy to follow, the concept is exactly the same!



 

  * This fic will be driven by audience participation! You will decide what happens to who at multiple occasions such as on tasks, and most importantly, you decide who gets evicted! (I will do the nominations but you decide who goes!)



 

  * Because of this, I’ve set up a twitter account especially for this fic, that will be your go-to source for all things YouTuber Big Brother. The @ of this account is _[**@youtuberbigbro**](https://twitter.com/youtuberbigbro)_ , and there you will find regular polls and tweets that will help drive the fic in the direction you want it to go. I will be reading any and all comments on here, too, but ultimately that account is where the influence will be, as it is easiest to do polls and such there. If you want to get involved with this fic, which I beg you to do so, go follow that account or keep an eye on it as I’ll be posting a lot on there to help get to grips with what you want to see! Also, if you have any questions or anything you want to discuss about the fic, it’s best to contact me there, though I’ll see it at some point if you just leave a comment!



 

  * PLEASE DO NOT LET OPINIONS YOU ALREADY HAVE ON THE YOUTUBERS AFFECT YOUR VOTING. I know it’s difficult but this is an au where none of them are youtubers, none of them are famous, none of them know each other etc, and I beg you to dismiss opinions you already have of them and almost treat them as original characters. If you don’t like a housemate in the fic then that’s fair enough, but please don’t vote for a youtuber you may not like for whatever reason, I’m trying to make this as fair as possible!



 

  * I apologise in advance if this isn’t updated as regularly as you may wish it to be, I do have a life outside of writing and sometimes real life stuff has to take priority. I know you’re all lovely humans who understand and respect that, but I thought it’d be important to say it just in case, comments such as ‘update soon’ or ‘why aren’t you updating?’ make me extremely anxious and if anything discourage me from writing. So yeah be considerate and stuff which I have no doubt the majority of you will be anyway. Also if someone gets evicted that you didn’t want to get evicted don’t attack me ok cool.



 

  * This fic _will not_ be a purely danxphil fic. Yes, whilst I am a phanfic author and many of you know I thrive on my fluff and romance (and nothing is ruled out), it’s not going to be a straight linear kind of format. I’m going to try my best to mix it up and show all the housemates, and their conversations that may not necessarily include dan or phil, just so you can get to know their characters more so you have a more well-rounded opinion of them come the eviction polls.



 

  * The diary room entries and nominations etc will be clearly displayed, I’ll preface it so it’s obvious, and that will again let you get a more in-depth look at each housemate. I had to write the first chapter, launch night as you’re about to read, in either dan or phil’s perspective just because the fic had to start in someone’s perspective, but I’m going to try my best to make it an unbiased perspective and give each housemate a good chance to shine (beauty of a third person writing style, am i right). You'll see what i mean as the fic progresses, but if you feel someone isn’t getting enough 'airtime' then tweet me and I’ll see what I can do.



 

  * I only have a couple of structural storyline points that are set in stone, but it is on the whole a blank canvas for you all to paint upon, so to speak. You decide how the storyline goes and who goes etc.



 

 

Sorry if this was long I just had to get a few points out there before the fic begins, otherwise they’d all have to have been crammed into a super long author’s note, but now they can be here ready to read whenever. Again, please follow **_[@youtuberbigbro](https://twitter.com/youtuberbigbro)_  **to get involved with all things surrounding this fic, and please leave a kudos and comment if you enjoy it, and perhaps share it with anyone you feel might enjoy it.

 

AND SUBSCRIBE SO YOU NEVER MISS A CHAPTER AND GET AN EMAIL NOTIFICATION WHEN THE FIC IS UPDATED!!

 

And with that, enjoy the fic!!! :)


	2. Launch Night

He’d actually made it. From applying online one bored afternoon the year before, to a face to face interview, to six more face to face interviews, to the filming of various videos and behind the scenes content that would no doubt be shown on the spin-off show at some point, to where he was right now.

Behind the infamous doors, ready to make his debut onto national TV, onto one of the biggest reality shows in history.

His face was coated in spotlight-friendly makeup, being topped off by a powder puff as he stood waiting to be released, and he was told that he had less than ten seconds to go. He wondered if he’d perhaps underdressed for the occasion, he was only in a dress shirt and skinny ripped jeans. Hardly TV appropriate, but then again, was Dan Howell really TV appropriate?

He pondered the thought as he waited for his VT to end, not that he could hear any of it. All he could hear were the runners and other crew members shouting things frantically at one another.

If he was being honest, he couldn’t remember anything he said in his VT, it was months ago. Shortly after it was confirmed he was going to be on the show and he was offered the position of housemate, he was ushered into a studio fairly close to where he lived to film his pre-show VTs. The producer behind camera asked him a series of questions, to which Dan was faultlessly careful to answer, he knew from watching the show previously that editing could make or break a housemate upon their entrance. And duration of their living in the House.

Dan wasn’t the most interesting of people, he’d just never anything really worth noting, it was the main reason he was still baffled on why he was selected above the tens of thousands other applicants. Most people claimed to be firecrackers or loving a good argument, but Dan was just honest. But he was sure he’d manage to say something to get a rise out of people at some point, just by being as plain awkward as he was.

He zoned back in at the perfect second.

“It’s housemate number twelve, it’s Dan!” host Emma introduced him, and the doors slid open.

After quickly wiping his clammy hands against his jeans before they opened completely, Dan smiled widely (despite being ridden with nerves) and made his way down the few steps and over to the eye marked on the ground, where his picture would be taken by the press – the instructions had been drilled into him a thousand times during his six hour long wait in a room, waiting to be driven over to the House.

He high-fived some of the audience that were reaching their hands out as he passed them, and he was so focused on the pounding in his ears that he didn’t even register the crowd’s reaction to him, and his VT that gave the audience and viewing public their first impression of him.

Emma made her way over to him, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to turn him around to the camera.

“Dan! How about that reaction, huh?” she asked, and held out the microphone to him.

It was at that second that Dan swallowed thickly and forced himself to tune into the crowd. He couldn’t hear a single boo, which was incredibly rare. Unless his mind was taking pity on him and decided to block out the overwhelming amount of boos he was sure he would be receiving.

“Uh, yeah, it’s… something” he answered with a shaky chuckle, and Emma squeezed him.

“There’s no need to be nervous! We haven’t had a reaction like that in a while!” she insisted, and the crowd cheered louder to show their support.

“I think I’m just having a hard time believing I’m here? Like, this is Big Brother? And I’m here?”

A few members of the crowd close to him laughed, and Emma laughed too.

“You are, you made it! So, we saw in your VT that you’re a ‘shameless nerd’ but also that you have a tendency to be a bit of a loud person?”

Dan simply smiled and nodded – _did he say that?_

“So can we expect you to be the cause of any arguments and using that loudness or are you going to be more of a viewer, do you reckon?”

Dan shrugged. “It’s hard to tell, it’s such a weird situation that you can’t really know how you’ll react until you’re in there, you know?”

Emma nodded, seeming impressed with his answer, and placed a hand on his shoulder, and raised an eyebrow.

“Are you looking for love in the House?”

Dan prayed to every higher power that his body didn’t betray him and cause him to blush.

“Absolutely not, I’m just in there to have a laugh and see if I really can be away from the internet for more than a day.”

Emma laughed along with the crowd, and patted him on the back.

“I think you’ll be one to watch, go make your way into the house!” she gestured towards the steps at the end of the runway, leading up to the famous bungalow.

During the interview process, Dan had to give the producers a handful of interesting facts, which from his watching of past series’ he knew would be being read out as he made his way up the stairs. With a final goodbye to his brother over the railing, he turned around and waved to the crowd, then stepped inside the House, and the doors closed behind him. Sealing him in with, apparently, eleven other people.

The Diary Room was directly to his left as he entered, which he would try his best to remember. He took a deep breath as he descended the staircase into the living room, where a crowd of people were chatting in smaller groups, all of who stopped to check out their new and final housemate.

Yeah, Dan definitely felt underdressed. Some of his housemates were dressed to the nines. A part of him thought that the wardrobe department would choose an entrance outfit for him, he didn’t know how much control the network had over his experience, but no. He got to choose his own outfit from his suitcases.

People began making their way over, thankfully everyone had on a nametag just as he did.

Dan was certain his throat was going to close up any second, he was so nervous. Though he supposed the worst part was over, something about the concept of hundreds of thousands of people viewing his every move was still daunting. But at least everyone else seemed to be in the same boat, except for the fact they had been here longer than him, some longer than others, and likely already clicked with other people. Perks of being an earlier housemate to enter.

“Hi!” a blonde woman with a nametag reading Louise hugged him immediately. “I’m Louise, lovely to meet you!”

“And you” Dan smiled back.

“Caspar,” a blond boy with a distinctive accent held out his hand, which Dan shook politely.

“Dan” he replied, nodding down to his nametag, and they shared a laugh. Caspar handed him a glass of champagne before Dan moved on with his greetings.

Two women were next to greet him, and he kissed both of their cheeks as was customary (for some reason, he’d never understood it) whose nametags read Tanya and Niomi, and they soon launched back into conversation with one another, which Dan couldn’t entirely blame them for.

“How was it?” a guy with a head of bright green hair and a thick Irish accent asked as he held out a hand for Dan to shake, which he did.

“Terrifying, daunting, other words to that effect.”

The guy – whose nametag read Sean – laughed. “Couldn’t have put it better myself. I’m Sean, if you couldn’t already tell by this massive thing,” he flicked his nametag, “But you can call me Jack if it’s easier to remember, either’s fine by me!”

“They’re quite different names” Dan laughed, and Sean joined in.

“It’s a gamertag I’ve had since I was young, people have called me it for years, it’s kind of just stuck!”

“That’s cool!” Dan enthused, though he was keen to keep under wraps his own former online alias he created when he was thirteen, danisnotonfire. He would much rather people not have the option to call him that.

He made his way through the crowd to speak to people he hadn’t yet greeted.

“So nice to meet you!” a petite woman greeted as Dan kissed her cheek. “I’m Zoe!”

“Dan” he replied. It would probably get really annoying to say his name over and over if he was an earlier housemate, he realised. Finally, a perk of being last. So far the only perk he’d found.

“I’m Joe, nice to meet you, mate” a guy held out his hand for Dan to shake. “Oh, we’re siblings, by the way.” He nodded towards Zoe, who nodded in confirmation.

“Oh, so do you count as one housemate?”

Zoe shook her head. “No, we just came in at the same time, but we’re complete individuals in tasks and nominating and stuff!”

Dan nodded in understanding, and shook hands with the next guy who had come to greet him, whose nametag read Mark.

“How are you doing, did you go on okay out there?” Mark asked, in a distinct American accent.

“Nearly had a panic attack live on camera, but miraculously I survived” Dan shrugged, and Mark laughed, and Dan, finally having calmed down a bit, found it in himself to laugh along.

Next up were two women who had patiently waited on the outskirts of the group.

One, considerably shorter than Dan, hugged him lightly. “Nice to meet you!” she smiled, her nametag reading Dodie. She ran a hand through her hair. “Sorry I kind of suck at greetings, I’m awkward as fuck.”

Dan laughed. “I am too, don’t worry.”

The next woman pulled him into a light hug too. “Nice to meet you, I’m Marzia!”

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Dan.”

It was hard to tell when he should and shouldn’t say his name, it seemed as if a lot of people seemed to just read his nametag just as he did theirs.

And then there was only one final person left to meet, who stood patiently at the back of the group, and politely excused himself from conversation with Joe and Mark to greet Dan.

“Nice to meet you,” Dan said as he shook the guy’s hand, “I’m Dan.”

And then he looked at the guy’s face. And then it was hard to look away, or even blink.

“I never would’ve guessed that!” the guy flicked Dan’s nametag and laughed, then straightened his own. “But I’m Phil, nice to meet you.”

Everyone else was in conversation, so Dan thought it best to just stick with Phil rather than try and join in on an already happening conversation. Phil didn’t seem to mind either, which was a bonus.

“So what kind of reception did you get?” Phil asked, taking a sip of champagne.

“Mostly positive, I think? So Emma said, anyway. Truth be told I was just focusing on trying not to trip up or embarrass myself in any way, shape or form.”

Phil laughed. “I feel that. I tripped getting out of the car that drove me here so that kind of put me and the producers into paranoia mode.”

“Did you really?” Dan asked, and Phil nodded.

“Oh, yeah. They seemed genuinely concerned, they actually scuffed my shoes a bit on the bottom so that they had better grip, just in case.” Phil lifted up his foot to prove it, and there were indeed scuff marks.

“The beauty of high-budget reality TV, huh?” Dan joked, and Phil clinked his glass to Dan’s.

“The two awkward, tall guys in the corner of the room watching everyone else socialise, I think we’ll get along just fine.”

Dan clinked his glass to Phil’s again, silent agreement.

Idle chatter between all the housemates continued for what felt like an hour (but definitely wasn’t), until a voice interrupted.

_This is Big Brother. Will all housemates gather on the sofas immediately._

Everyone piled onto the spacious sofas, which was interesting for Dan as the last entry, to see who was so far bonding with who.

He found himself sat between Joe and Sean, and the room fell into silence as they all awaited their next instruction. It came a few seconds later.

_This is Big Brother. Welcome, housemates of two thousand and seventeen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, be sure to follow @youtuberbigbro on twitter!! 
> 
> as i post this chapter, there will be a poll up very soon so hop on there and have your say on the very first piece of audience interaction yayyy internet
> 
> also please leave a kudos and comment and be sure to subscribe thank youuuuuu


	3. First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The housemates settle into their first night in the Big Brother House.
> 
> (this picks up right where the last chapter left off)

Everyone cheered and clinked their glasses together.

_The kitchen is now open for housemates to collect refreshments, and the bedroom is now open for housemates to claim their beds._

Immediately, people were jumping off of the sofas and bolting to either the kitchen or bedroom.

Dan made his way into the bedroom, he knew there wouldn’t be many single beds.

Some housemates were already laid on their selected beds, some of them pairing up to share, others clearly bagging a single.

Dan spotted a seemingly unclaimed single bed in the corner of the room beside a double, and dove onto it.

“Careful there, Dan, you’ll break through the wall” Zoe joked as she fell onto the double bed beside him.

“Causing damage on the first night, I’d be a legend” Dan sighed wistfully, and a pillow was dropped onto his chest.

“You’d be removed, more like” Joe grinned as he flopped down beside his sister.

“You two are sharing, then?” Dan asked, and both siblings nodded.

“That way I know she won’t be getting up to any funny business” Joe deepened his voice, and Zoe punched him playfully in the arm.

“Shut up, you dick,” she rolled her eyes, “I have a boyfriend on the outside” she told Dan, and he nodded in understanding.

“Really burst your bubble there, didn’t she mate?” Joe teased, and Dan knew he was blushing.

It wasn’t a conversation he thought he’d be having quite so early in the show.

“Shut up!” Zoe was his saving grace as she hit her brother with a pillow, effectively doing just that. “Sorry about him, Dan.”

Dan assured her it was fine, then sat up to see who had claimed what bed so far, as it appeared everyone had now entered the bedroom. Most people had their arms full of various bottles and cans of alcohol.

“Dibs!” Caspar shouted as he flopped dramatically face-first onto a single bed in the middle of Dan’s row of beds.

Tanya and Niomi appeared to be sharing a bed on the opposite row, as did Mark and Sean and Louise and Dodie. Phil sat on the single bed beside theirs, silently calling dibs on it. Marzia claimed a single bed on the other side of Zoe and Joe.

“Now that’s out of the way, anyone care to join me for a drink outside?” Joe held up his beer bottle, and everyone cheered and piled out of the bedroom and into the garden.

“To Big Brother two thousand and seventeen!” Sean exclaimed as he held up his bottle, and everyone repeated it as they all clinked bottles, cans and glasses.

Within the next ten minutes the group had completely disbanded, and people were milling all around the house.

_This is Big Brother. Will all housemates gather on the sofas immediately._

“Again?” someone asked as everyone made their way back to the sofas, nobody seemingly sitting with who they were sat with before. Dan this time was sat between Louise and Mark.

_This is Big Brother. Housemates, Big Brother is afraid things are not as they seem. For one of you has been fooling everyone, and has been receiving secret tasks from Big Brother all night._

“Who’s the traitor?” Caspar narrowed his eyes and pointed the neck of his bottle at everyone in turn, earning laughs from various members of the group, whereas others were waiting intently for the revelation.

_Phil, please stand up._

“What the fuck” Louise was the only one that spoke, everyone else remained silent and stared at Phil, who seemed to fidget a little bit under the pressure.

_Phil, as the first housemate to enter the Big Brother house, you were entrusted with a series of secret tasks, delivered to you through a hidden earpiece._

Phil took out the earpiece to prove it, and Joe gasped dramatically and placed a hand to his chest.

_Big Brother will not divulge the tasks, though Big Brother can confirm that Phil successfully completed the majority of the tasks to a satisfactory level, meaning he has won a reward, which will be revealed in due time. Housemates may now leave the sofas._

People immediately began congratulating Phil, though Dan couldn’t help but feel a little alienated, as the last housemate to enter, he missed out on all of the tasks that Phil had to undertake.

“Don’t worry,” a voice came from beside him, and Dodie was finishing off a can of something or other. “I came in right before you, so I have no idea what’s gone on either.”

“So at least we have something in common” Dan laughed nervously, and Dodie nodded.

“Always good to build a foundation,” she observed. “You coming outside?”

Dan shook his head. “I’ll catch you later.”

Dodie smiled. “No worries!”

Not knowing where else to go or who to try talking to, Dan headed back into the bedroom.

He was expecting to be alone, everyone else to be in the garden or living room socialising, but surprisingly a couple of his housemates were already in the bedroom.

“When will our suitcases be delivered, I want my pyjamas!” Zoe huffed as she laid across her bed, and Niomi laughed from other side of the room.

“I just want my makeup remover, to be honest, it feels like I’ve been living in this makeup for days!”

“I want my picture of my Chica!” Mark copied Zoe’s tone of voice from before, and she narrowed her eyes playfully at him.

“You have a dog?” Dan asked, the first time he’d entered an already happening conversation, which was a feat in itself, he was proud. Couldn’t have been a better topic, in his opinion. Though it could’ve backfired very easily, judging by the fond way Mark was speaking, it could only have been about a dog.

“I do, she’s the best” Mark replied, craning his head to look over at Dan.

“What breed is she?”

Mark tapped his nose. “It’s a secret until I get my suitcase. It’ll give people a reason to talk to me then, to see what breed my dog is.”

“I like your style” Dan mock-saluted him, and Mark did it back.

“Thank you, I’m professionally trained in pathetic persuasion.”

“I miss my dog already” Zoe pretended to wipe a tear from her eye.

“What breed is your dog?” Mark asked, and Zoe smirked.

“It’s a secret until I get my suitcase. It’ll give people a reason to talk to me then, to see what breed my dog is.” She tried her best to copy Mark’s accent as she copied his words.

“First off, you sound more like me than me, and secondly that’s not fair, I want to know everything about everyone’s dogs!”

“What’s this about dogs?” Phil asked as he entered the bedroom, a glass of water in hand.

“They’re missing them already and want their suitcases so they can get the pictures” Niomi explained, and Phil sighed as he sat on his bed.

“I’d kill to have a dog.”

“That’ll make you look great in editing, I’m sure” Dan called over, and Phil flipped him off from the other side of the room.

“I love how we’ve been here only a couple of hours but already we’re flipping each other off and mocking each other” Zoe laughed, and everyone else in the room joined in.

“Proves we have a good bunch of people here” Mark replied.

“Or at least a good bunch of people in this room” Dan added.

“So optimistic” Phil said as he took a drink of his water, and it was Dan’s turn to flip him off instead.

“Point proven” Zoe gestured between the two of them, referencing her earlier point, earning another round of laughs from everyone.

\--

Half an hour later, suitcases were delivered in the store room, and a large amount of the housemates were craning over Mark’s suitcase.

“So this is Chica” he announced proudly, holding a picture of a fluffy golden retriever to his chest, a pink neckerchief contrasting against her fur.

Everyone cooed.

“I love her!” Dodie exclaimed.

“I want to adopt her” Caspar said, “If only my apartment complex allowed pets.”

“Shame for you, then” Mark smirked, and Caspar pretended to pout.

“Does anyone else have any pictures of any dogs with them?” Louise called out, and Zoe immediately ran over to her suitcase after the group began to disband from Mark and Sean’s bed.

“This is Nala” Zoe held out a picture of a petite black pug, its head cocked to the side as it stared wide eyed into the camera.

“I have pugs too!” Marzia ran over to her own suitcase and fished out a picture of her two pugs, which meant double the amount of coos and adoration from the rest of the housemates.

“What are their names?” Niomi asked.

“Maya and Edgar” Marzia answered, and smiled down at the picture.

“The three of them should go on a puppy playdate!” Sean gestured to both Zoe and Marzia, referencing their pugs.

“Where abouts are you from?” Zoe asked out of curiosity.

“I’m Brighton bound, how about you?”

Zoe grinned. “Me too! Let’s actually seriously consider this puppy playdate!”

Sean ran over to them and jumped on the bed beside them eagerly.

“I live in Brighton too and I love dogs, can I come?”

Marzia placed a finger to her chin, and pretended to ponder the thought.

“I don’t know,” she sang, “you could be a murderer or a dog kidnapper for all we know…”

Sean pouted.

“And we just don’t know if we can trust you around our dogs yet” Zoe added with a shrug, though she was still grinning.

“Okay so if I can prove I’m not a murderer and dog kidnapper, can I meet your dogs when we’re out of here?”

Zoe and Marzia shared an amused glance.

“We’ll consider it” Marzia replied, and Zoe nodded.

Sean’s eyes lit up.

“I’ll prove it to you right now, follow me!” and with that he dashed out of the bedroom and headed into the garden, leaving a still very amused Zoe and Marzia to follow.

“So will Chica be coming to meet you when you’re out, do you think?” Dan asked Mark as they continued to unpack, as did a couple other of their housemates. Others were leaving the task until a later date.

“To be perfectly honest, I begged the producers to bring her over but I don’t think they went for it.”

“Oh,” Dan sighed dramatically, “I really wanted to hug her, is all.”

“I don’t know about that, I mean you could be a-“

“If you say murderer and dog kidnapper I swear to god.”

Mark held up his hands and made a lock-and-key motion over his lips, and Dan laughed.

“We have another dog picture, this is not a drill!” Louise announced as she re-entered the bedroom with Tanya.

Tanya unzipped one of her suitcases and retrieved a picture of a miniature daschund, in the arms of a man Tanya explained to be her husband.

“I’m never going to be sadder to return to my empty lonely flat when I get out of here” Dan stated, and Louise placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I can’t relate, because I have two cats, a boyfriend and two kiddies waiting for me when I get out of here, but I can sympathise with you.”

“A pity sympathise?” Dan asked, and Louise shrugged.

“It’s the best I can do, I’m afraid.”

Dan playfully shoved off her hand and continued unpacking.

“Why have you all come into this House and left all your adorable dogs? I don’t understand!” Phil threw his arms up in the air as he came back into the main part of the bedroom from storing away his clothes.

“Everyone’s in here for their own reasons, my friend” Joe replied from where he was sprawled across his bed, seemingly without a care in the world.

“Some more selfish than others, I’m sure” Tanya mumbled, though it seemed as if barely anyone heard her.

“Do you have any pictures of your cats, by any chance?” Dodie asked as she ran up to Louise, holding something behind her back.

“I’m sure I do somewhere in here…” Louise began fishing through various bags within her suitcase, eventually retrieving a couple of slips of card. “Here they are!” she handed the picture over to Dodie, and the younger girl squealed.

“They’re so cute!” she handed over her own picture over to Louise, “This is my family cat, and the people are my parents and siblings but, like, the cat steals the show, obviously.”

“The cats steal the show from my kids and boyfriend, too” Louise pointed out the people on her picture, and the two laughed before launching into an in-depth discussion about cats.

Caspar sat back on his bed and stretched out his arms. “Just so I don’t go to sleep crying over the lack of pets in my life, does anyone apart from Dan and I have to suffer the never-ending perils of heart-wrenching loneliness?”

“I do” Phil raised his hand, as did Niomi and Joe.

“Half of those words just then didn’t need to come out of your mouth, I think you need to get some sleep” Joe laughed, and Caspar waved him off dismissively.

“No I don’t-“ he was cut off by another yawn, “I’m fine.”

“Your eyes are batting closed” Joe stated as he looked over at the neighbouring bed, where Caspar was practically melting into the mattress.

“Yeah when do the lights get turned off, by the way? I feel like I’ve been awake for eighty days” Tanya stretched out her arms and yawned before getting into bed.

“I assume when everyone’s in the bedroom, that’s what usually happens” Dan shrugged, and Louise nodded before swiftly exiting the bedroom.

A couple of minutes later, she returned with Sean, Zoe and Marzia.

“I don’t know why I went outside in these pyjamas, it’s freezing out there” Zoe shivered as she got into bed and pulled up the duvet to her chin, much to her brother’s annoyance.

“Did you prove you weren’t a murderer and dog kidnapper?” Dan asked Sean, and he nodded gleefully.

“He petted that dog statue we have in the garden for ten minutes non-stop” Marzia laughed, and Sean nodded again.

“It’s all for a good cause” he pointed to himself, “And I dedicate myself to good causes.”

“Chica is offended you don’t want to go through all of this effort to see her” Mark cuddled his picture to his chest and pretended to soothe its sadness.

“Hey, I said I want to see her when we get out of here!” Dan protested, “Don’t act like she’s got no love tonight!”

“Why are we already talking about getting out of here?” Joe asked the group, “We’ve been here a matter of hours.”

“Yes but now doggy playdates are on the table so things have already changed” Sean explained, putting emphasis on the vowel sound in ‘changed’.

“So you all go and then I can stay and win the hundred grand for myself” Dodie pitched the idea, and received a chorus of groans and thrown pillows as a result.

“Now people’s true colours are coming out” Phil joked, and everyone laughed.

“As if anyone would turn a hundred grand down, though, really” Louise said as she stood up her pictures against the mirror behind her and Dodie’s bed, “It’s absolutely life changing.”

“So is a good night’s sleep” Caspar’s voice was muffled due to the fact his face was dug into his pillow. “Can the lights turn out yet?”

The housemates then all took it in turns to call out to Big Brother and ask for the lights to be turned out.

By the time they had all asked once, their wish was granted, and the room plunged into darkness.

_Goodnight, housemates._

A chorus of “goodnight Big Brother” followed before everyone, one by one, fell into their first sleep in the Big Brother House.

\----

_Diary room footage from Launch Night_

_\----_

**_Dan_ **

_Hello, Dan. Welcome to the Big Brother house._

Dan looked around the diary room in awe, somehow it was different to how it always looked on TV. As a viewer his mind had always ran away with him with speculation about the diary room, but in reality it was just an empty room with a chair, backdrop and huge camera, as well as a side door for emergencies. But if anything, it just made him more excited for the experience.

“Thank you so much!” he looked around the room again, he wouldn’t be surprised if the viewers ended up laughing at him for it, he just felt like a kid in the world’s biggest sweet shop. “I still can’t quite believe I’m here like… how?”

_How are you settling in?_

“I don’t feel like I am yet, to be honest?” he rubbed the back of his neck and laughed shakily, “Everything’s very much kind of up in the air right now, you know? There’s not been any time to really get our feet on the ground and settle in, so to speak.”

_What do you think of your fellow housemates?_

“They all seem really cool, from what I’ve seen so far! Obviously I was the last one in so I didn’t have time to really chat to people beforehand and a lot of my time was spent greeting people, and there’s only a couple of people I’ve really had the chance to speak more than three words to.”

_Who are you connecting with the most so far?_

Dan began playing with his fingers in his lap, a habit he’d always had when nervous.

“Again, I’ve only really had the chance to speak to a couple of people on more than a ‘hi how are you doing’ kind of basis but Dodie seems really nice and Sean seems really funny and Phil and I are similar in a lot of ways, it seems, so I think we might get on quite well.”

_What are you most hoping for to come out of this experience for you?_

“I’m not going to be really cliché and say ‘I want to find myself’ or ‘to prove who I really am’, I just want to have fun and have a laugh, really. I still don’t know how or why I got chosen to be here so I’m just taking every day as it comes, really!”

“Going back to your previous question, kind of, now that it’s just you and me, can you tell me what tasks Phil had to do?”

_No, Dan, Big Brother cannot._

Dan laughed. “Worth a try, right?”

_If there is nothing else, Dan, you may return to the house._

Dan smiled into the camera. “Okay, thank you!”

\--

**_Phil_ **

_Hello, Phil. Welcome back to the diary room._

Phil grinned. “Thank you for having me back.”

_Are you proud of your performance in your secret tasks tonight?_

Phil sat back in the diary room chair and huffed out a breath. “Some of them were so difficult, why did you do that to me!”

_Which ones were the hardest?_

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe having to get Marzia to slap me in the face because I-“ he paused to bend his fingers to indicate quotation marks, “needed to calm down and that was the only way?”

He sub-consciously moved a finger to his cheek, even though it didn’t hurt at all, Marzia was very gentle.

“Or having to get Joe to do a slut drop with me? That wasn’t mortifying to have to do at all. I’m still surprised he agreed, to be honest. And, everyone at home, if you even decide to show this, please don’t judge me based on my dancing, I beg of you.”

_Are you excited for your reward?_

“Yes!” Phil clasped his hands together and leaned forward. “Can I have it yet?”

_All in due time, Phil._

“Can you at least tell me what it is?”

_All in due time, Phil._

“Fine” Phil shrugged. “I’ll wait like a good housemate.”

He looked around the diary room before settling his gaze back onto the camera lens, there was little else to look.

“I won’t have to do any more, will I? Surely not now that everyone knows?”

_No Phil, Big Brother can confirm your secret task is now over, and your reward will be delivered to you in due course._

“Okay, that’s a relief,” he ran a hand through his hair and straightened out his shirt. “Thank you.”

_What do you make of your fellow housemates?_

“They all seem really nice! I didn’t get a bad vibe from anyone which is obviously a good thing, and at the minute I don’t see a reason why I won’t be friends with everyone, but things can always change after the first night.”

_Who are you getting along most with at the moment?_

“Well Louise and I were alone in the house for a while for some reason so we got chatting a lot and she’s just the kind of person I’d be good friends with on the outside, so definitely her. I got to talk to Caspar and Mark for quite a while too, they both seem like really nice guys, and then I got talking to Dan quite a lot towards the end of the night, right up until I came up here, actually. He, well he seems exactly my kind of guy.”

There was a couple of seconds of silence, and Phil was about to ask if everything was okay when Big Brother spoke again.

_In what way is Dan ‘exactly your kind of guy’?_

Phil’s eyes widened, and he wiggled a finger at the camera.

_“No,_ not that way! Not that way! He’s just-“ Phil ran a hand through his hair again and took a breath, “He just seems a really nice guy and I look forward to getting to know him better, that’s all! Stop doing whatever you’re doing there!”

_Thank you, Phil. If there is nothing else you’d like to talk to Big Brother about, the diary room door is now open._

Phil could feel his cheeks beginning to heat up, and he jumped out of the diary room seat as quickly as his legs would let him.

“Thank you, bye!”

\--

**_Dodie_ **

_Hello, Dodie. Welcome to the Big Brother house. How are you settling in?_

Dodie looked around the room in awe. “This is so weird, no matter how much you watch this show, it’s not how you’d imagine it to be.”

She then shook her head and focused on the question.

“But as far as how well I’m settling in, I guess I’m okay? Everyone seems nice from what little I’ve spoken to them all. I was the second to last one in so I’ve not had much time to speak to many people, I’ve just been trying to make my rounds and have a little conversation with everyone.”

_Who have you spoken most to tonight?_

“Louise and Zoe, I guess? I was in love with Zoe’s outfit so I kind of like hounded her until she told me where she got it from and then Louise and I share a love for the same styles of makeup so we were talking about that and basically I connected with them both on a very girly-girl level, which doesn’t happen all that often for me, so it was a nice change. But like I said, I tried my best to have a little conversation with everyone.”

_Are you excited for your stay in the Big Brother house?_

Dodie squealed.

“Damn fucking right I’m excited!” she immediately cupped her hands over her mouth. “Wait, shit, am I allowed to swear?” she pressed her hands further into her face when she swore again.

_You’re fine, Dodie, Big Brother won’t tell._

Dodie nodded, though she knew that was code for ‘that will definitely be in the edit’. She and Dan, upon their little conversation, bonded a bit over the fact they were both fairly big fans of the show.

_What do you think you’ll bring to the House?_

Dodie drummed her fingers against the arms of the diary room chair.

“Um, I don’t really know? I guess it’s just a waiting game to find out” she clicked her fingers and made the cringey mistake of doing finger guns towards the camera.

“Can you please edit that out, I don’t want anyone thinking I do that unironically, please.”

_Big Brother will not be editing that out._

She had to crack a smile at the monotone voice basically sassing her.

“I’m really trying to wean myself off of doing cringey shit like that, you know” she said, more so to the viewers who may or may not even see it, the edit may very well cut it off and just leave it at the finger guns.

“Can I please leave before I unintentionally humiliate myself further?” she asked.

_Dodie, if there is nothing else you would like to speak to Big Brother about, the diary room door is now open._

Upon hearing the lock click open, Dodie dashed out, a sense of pride filling her that she managed to resist the urge to salute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! The three diary room discussions at the end were determined by your votes over on the @youtuberbigbro twitter account, i did three polls with all the housemates on and dan, phil and dodie got the most votes so that is what you got, i told you this is all determined by youuuuu (so follow it if you don't already, so you can have your say on future events in the fic, also i'm super active on there and love to chat to you all about this so it's always a good time over there)
> 
> also the diary rooms are at the end so it's less confusing than just randomly plopping them in the middle of the chapter, but all three of them went at different times during launch night, they didn't get out of bed once they'd gone to sleep lmao i thought this was just easier. i quite like diary rooms being at the end but if you find it too confusing or messy or whatever then let me know!
> 
> i'm so glad that a lot of you seem so excited about this, i am too! thank you for your comments and kudos on the last chapter, i'd love to know what you thought of this one either in the comments or over on twitter!!
> 
> also i'm still experimenting with writing styles in terms of trying to make it not in a single perspective so all housemates get near enough equal exposure in the fic, i kind of picked it up about halfway through this chapter and i think i'll keep working on it for future chapters, maybe i'll cut off with a '----' and pick up on a conversation a bunch of housemates are having, idk i'll figure it out you know me
> 
> anyway yeah thank you so much for reading, please let me know what you thought and share the fic with anyone you think might like it, and follow the @youtuberbigbro for p much hourly content surrounding this fic and all the important polls and tweets which determine the direction in which this fic goes :)
> 
> also let's get a lil discussion going in the comments, let's try a different discussion each chapter to see if anyone reads these long ass author's notes: who's your favourite housemate so far and why???


	4. First Morning & First Task

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The housemates wake up to their first morning in the Big Brother House, and take part in the first task - proving their honesty through answering questions submitted from viewers.

_Good morning, housemates._

The lights in the bedroom flicked on, at the highest brightness possible, and various housemates groaned.

“Nah thanks I’m good” Joe said, clearly still half-asleep, and turned so his face was in his pillow.

A piercing alarm began ringing from the ceiling.

“No!” Sean whined, and folded his pillow over his ears.

“I’m revelling in the fact I’m not up at the crack of dawn making school lunches for once” Louise sounded chirpy as ever, “In fact I’m going to make myself a cup of tea and just sit on the sofas for a while.” She clapped gleefully and practically jumped out of bed, disturbing a still half-asleep Dodie beside her. Marzia followed her out.

“How can anyone be so fucking happy at half seven in the morning” Dodie complained, and turned over, trying to get back to sleep.

Clearly nobody was going to be able to get back to sleep.

“How do you know it’s half seven?” Tanya asked.

“It’s always between seven and eight, I think it’s so they have more hours of footage to edit from in case we’re boring shits” Dan answered, earning a laugh from the more awake housemates.

“I’ve actually been awake for about a half hour” Zoe shrugged as she got out of bed, immediately the duvet was snatched by her brother and wrapped around himself tightly. “I just didn’t know if I was allowed to get out and walk around or anything because it was pitch black.”

“We’re awake already!” Mark shouted, throwing his arms up in frustration, “Can you turn the alarm off already?”

“And the lights whilst you’re at it” Phil added, clearly not ready to get up either.

Caspar was evidently the heaviest sleeper, he seemed undisturbed by everything and appeared to still be sleeping.

_This is Big Brother. If all housemates are not awake and out of bed in under half an hour, there will be consequences for the entire House._

This caused another round of groans from those craving lay-ins.

“Come on, get up!” Zoe hit her brother with her pillow repeatedly until he stirred and sighed dramatically.

“Fine, but only if you make me breakfast” he smiled sweetly at her and she rolled her eyes.

“I’m only having yoghurt and fruit so how about no” she ruffled his hair and headed out of the bedroom.

“I’ll cook everyone breakfast” Tanya offered, causing most other housemates to raise their heads to look over at her, and she was smiling widely. “I’d be happy to, cooking and baking are, like, my favourite hobbies!”

“So you’re going to be House chef, are you?” Mark asked, and Tanya shrugged.

“If the shoe fits.”

She then got out of bed and headed out of the bedroom with the promise of breakfast being ready soon.

“What’s the worst punishment they could give us on the first proper day, really?” Sean pondered aloud. “It’s not as if we’d miss out if we were to have rations, not when I presume we all took full advantage of the room service yesterday ahead of coming in here, right?”

“I mean, I sure as fuck did” Dan sat up and rested against the headboard. “Speaking of, who the fuck took all of the pancakes? I was really craving some but when I rang down for some they said that all the pancakes had gone…”

Phil slowly raised his hand, a blush growing on his cheeks. “Um, I really like pancakes.”

Dan narrowed his eyes at him, but it was all in jest and they both fell into laughter.

Joe made his way over to Caspar’s bed and jumped on top of him, causing the blond to practically jump out of his skin.

“What the fuck?”

“You need to wake up, mate” Joe shrugged, “Big Brother said.”

“I was just drifting back off, though…”

“Yeah but, like, we’re not all being punished just so you can have an extra five minutes” Niomi replied, and Joe nodded.

“Be a team player.”

“Whatever” a crabby Caspar mumbled as he padded into the bathroom.

“And I thought I wasn’t a morning person” Dodie joked as she pulled on her dressing gown and headed into the living room.

\--

Once all the housemates had demolished a delicious breakfast courtesy of Tanya, they were all gathered on the sofas.

“Are we getting a task already?” Dodie asked excitedly as everyone awaited Big Brother to address them again.

“I hope so,” Caspar said through a yawn, “The boredom is already kicking in.”

“You’re just sulking because you got woken up” Louise waved his comment off dismissively, “We’ve not been here long enough to be bored yet.”

“Yet” Tanya repeated.

_This is Big Brother. Housemates, for today’s task you will all be tested on your honesty, by answering a series of viewer questions._

“Okay this sounds promising” Marzia said as she took a sip of coffee.

_Throughout the day, Big Brother will call you one by one to the Diary Room to face your set of viewer questions. The public will then determine who has been the most honest, and that housemate will win a very special reward. Housemates are not permitted to discuss their questions. Joe, Caspar and Louise, you will be first._

“Because we’re the best” Joe winked at Caspar and Louise who were sat together on the sofa opposite him, and they both shot him a thumbs in return.

_Good luck housemates, and remember, honesty is the best policy._

“Preach it, Big Bro” Sean kissed his knuckle then fist-bumped the air in the general direction of where the voice appeared to have come from.

_Housemates may now leave the sofas, but Joe should come to the Diary Room for his part of the task._

“If I don’t come back in one piece, tell mum and dad I love them” Joe clasped onto Zoe’s hands, and she laughed.

“I’m sure they’ll love to see you get roasted on national TV, it’s not as if they’ll be gutted” she replied, and Joe pouted.

He then headed up to the Diary Room whilst his housemates shouted their good luck wishes.

\--

_Hello, Joe._

“Hi again! It’s still surreal to be sat here, like this is Big Brother, this is the Diary Room… this is the actual Diary Room chair!”

As he suspected, Big Brother was there to talk strictly business.

_Joe, as you know, this task is to test your loyalty through answering some questions submitted from Big Brother viewers. Are you ready?_

Joe saluted the huge lens in front of him and straightened his back. “I’m ready.”

_Do you think the fact that you’re in the House with Zoe is going to be an advantage or disadvantage?_

“See, that’s an interesting question. I love my sister with all my heart, obviously, and we’ve been like this,” Joe crossed his middle fingers together, “Since we were little, and leading up to this I was so excited we’d be doing this experience together but I don’t know if we’ll end up grating each other up the wrong way because, like, we like our own space, and when we’re stuck in the same four walls for however long we’re lucky enough to be in here for…”

He tapped his finger to his chin.

“But then again at least I have someone that knows me and that I can chat properly to for these first couple of days until the awkward getting to know each other phase is over, and I can prank her more whilst we’re in here…. Yeah it’s an advantage. Most definitely an advantage.” Joe now had a mischievous grin as he waited for the next question. He was sub-consciously, in the back of his mind, thinking of potential pranks he could pull on his sister.

_What was the last lie you told?_

“When I told Tanya I liked the way she prepared the eggs this morning.” Joe shrugged. “They weren’t how I like them, which is fine because I, like, ate them and everything and they were okay, but you wanted brutal honesty so there.”

_What do you hope Big Brother doesn’t ask you?_

“As if. Nice try.”

_If you could be kissed anywhere on your body, where would it be?_

Joe laughed. “Wow, viewers, calm yourselves down a bit why don’t you.”

He paused for thought.

“I mean, I’m currently satisfied in that regard, so it’s not like I’m gagging for it or anything but I am always partial to thigh kisses.” He held up his hands. “Call me what you want for it, judge me if you want, but I just enjoy it, and that’s the God’s honest truth.”

_What’s the first thing you’ll do when you get out of the House? Anything specific?_

“I only just bloody got in here, and I hope to be here for a while but…” he paused again as he pondered the question. “Mum and dad cover your ears, but if I know myself well enough…. Have some grown up bonding time, if you get my drift. And eat, probably eat like a mountain of food. Yeah, that’ll be nice.”

_Are there any tasks you hope Big Brother doesn’t make you do?_

“Any scenario where I wouldn’t be able to speak or laugh or anything like that. Otherwise we’ll definitely lose that task because I can’t remember the last time I went, like, twenty minutes without speaking. Plus there are some funny people in here so it’d be near impossible.”

_Thank you Joe, your part in the task is now over. You may now return to the House._

“Wait are you serious?” Joe leaned forward. “That’s it? My part’s over? Come on, Big Brother, I was just getting into it!”

_Joe, the Diary Room door is now open._

Joe sighed and made his way out and back into the living room.

\--

“He’s back!” Niomi smiled as Joe re-joined a group of the housemates on the sofas.

“How was it?” Dan asked, careful not to smudge the nail polish which Dodie had just painted onto his finger.

“It wasn’t long enough!” Joe huffed.

“Something tells me it’s not the first time someone’s had that complaint regarding you” Sean commented, a smirk on his lips, and Joe threw a cushion at him.

“Don’t say any more, just in case you get in trouble” Zoe warned, and Joe nodded. “Though did they ask you about me?”

“I can’t say any more, just in case I get in trouble” Joe mocked Zoe’s words from seconds before and she flipped him off.

_This is Big Brother. Would Louise please come to the Diary Room._

“Yay yay yay yay yay!” Louise chanted as she ran up the Diary Room steps without as much as a second glance. Her housemates cheered her on.

\--

_Hello, Louise._

“Hello, Big Brother!” Louise knew she was grinning probably so hard it would probably cause her face to ache later in the day, but she just couldn’t help it. “I can’t believe this is happening!” she gestured to the room around her.

_Louise, as you know, today’s task is centred around testing housemates’ honesty. Are you ready for your set of viewer questions?_

Louise composed herself and forced herself to stop grinning, and rested her hands in her lap.

“I’m ready.”

_What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done in front of a mirror?_

Louise cupped her hands over her mouth. “Which of you asked that!” she pointed to the camera lens, referencing the viewers. “See I don’t mind telling this story but it involves a friend of mine… ah I’ll just use a different name.”

She cleared her throat.

“So me and my friend, we’ll call her….. Janet, got really drunk one night and for some reason ended up dancing in front of my mirror both stark naked with jelly, whipped cream and honey all over us. Oh, and cheese and onion crisps on our heads. I still don’t know why, but… that happened. Is my honesty proven yet?”

Louise began fanning her face with her hand in an attempt to quell her rapidly intensifying blush.

_What are you looking forward to the most here other than the money?_

“I mean, only one of us is going to get the money, so I’m honestly not thinking about it, I’m just revelling in the bags and bags of free time I have now, now I’m not running around after my two baby girls. I miss them so much already…” She paused for a moment to think of her two girls at home, probably watching their mum on the TV, cheering her on. The image caused her to smile fondly. “Move on, please, before I start blubbering.”

_Who do you seem to click with so far and why?_

“I click with them in different ways! Zoe and Marzia are like my gal pals, Dan and Dodie are like little cherubs who I just want to protect with my life, Phil and I are shockingly similar people so we’ve bonded a lot over that, Joe and Caspar are the pranksters of the house who I feel like I’m going to end up taking the mother hen role for, and last night Mark and Sean spent a good hour explaining the storyline and concepts of various video games to me, because I just didn’t know. Tanya and Niomi seem really sweet, but truth be told, they kind of distance themselves from the rest of us. I know it’s early days and I’m sure I’ll get to know them both soon enough, but I haven’t spoken to them anywhere near enough as everyone else.”

_How do you feel about sharing a bed with a total stranger?_

“It actually doesn’t bother me half as much as I thought it would. Dodie is such a sweetheart, and now we’re bed buddies it just gives us another thing to bond over, I love it!”

_What’s one thing you wish you had brought into the House but haven’t?_

Louise stuck out her bottom lip. “The drawing my daughter did at school last week. She drew me and my boyfriend and her sister and it was the cutest thing in the world, but she took it to her auntie’s house and forgot to bring it home again, and I was leaving the day after so my suitcases were already packed.”

She felt her eyes well up, and a stray tear trickled down her cheek.

“And now I’m crying, great.” She laughed weakly. “It’s only the first bloody day and I’m already crying. I bet that’s a record for the books, right?”

There were a few moments of silence as she composed herself.

_Are you okay, Louise?_

“I’ll be fine” Louise smiled as she wiped her eyes and sniffled a couple of times, “It’s just going to take some getting used to not having my girls running around all the time. As much as I’m going to enjoy this free time and getting to know all these new people it’s going to be painful as hell not being able to see them…”

_Take your time, Louise, Big Brother is here to listen._

“No, honestly, I’m fine” Louise replied after wiping her eyes again. “So are there any more questions?”

_No, Louise, your part of the task is now over, and if there is nothing else, you may now return to the House._

“Okay, thank you. And thank you to the viewers, thank you for caring enough about me to ask me some questions” she smiled again then left the Diary Room.

\--

Zoe was waiting at the bottom of the steps with outstretched arms as soon as she noticed Louise was teary at the top of them, and Louise simply walked into her arms and rested her head on Zoe’s shoulder, and tried her hardest not to cry again.

Slowly, silently, the hug turned into a group hug. Nobody knew how many of them there were in the hug, some housemates were in other rooms as Louise returned, for example, but nobody said a word.

“I can’t talk about it” Louise said, and her housemates nodded.

“We wouldn’t expect you to, even if it wasn’t a task” Dan replied as he wrapped Louise in another hug.

“I don’t even know why I’m like this,” she laughed, though her voice was slightly raspy, “I’m a mess for no reason whatsoever.”

“You don’t always need a reason” Phil assured her with a smile as she came to join him and Mark over on the sofas, and Dodie brought her over a fresh cup of tea. Louise thanked them in turn.

_This is Big Brother. Would Caspar please come to the Diary Room._

Caspar gave Louise a quick side hug as he passed her on his way to the Diary Room, and the other housemates shouted their well wishes as he ascended the staircase.

\--

_Hello, Caspar._

“Hi, Big Brother” he smiled, “Hi, public” he waved into the huge lens in front of him.

Almost automatically, he swung his legs over the side of the Diary Room chair.

_Caspar, as you are aware, today’s task is to test housemates’ honesty in the form of viewer questions. Are you ready for your questions, sent in by Big Brother viewers?_

“I am indeed” Caspar nodded, feeling excitement bloom inside him.

_Have you ever flashed someone?_

Caspar gasped and placed a hand to his chest. “Big Brother viewers, how dare you all be so lewd!” he spoke in a high-pitched take on a posh accent.

“But to answer your question no, I genuinely haven’t. I’m not that kind of guy. The only people that have seen little Caspar are the people that deserve to.” His eyes widened. “I mean only sexual partners. I’m not elitist or anything. I’m just going to stop talking now, next question!”

_If you found five hundred pounds on the street, what would you do with it?_

“My cousin has a rare disease and my family has a foundation set up for him, so it’d go straight into that, no questions asked.”

_If you were an animal, which animal would you be?_

“Something with a lot of stamina.”

_What’s a lie you tell about yourself to make yourself look better?_

“That I have dumped my partner in every relationship. Rather than the truth, which is the other way around. I don’t want people thinking I’m fucked up or something.”

_Would you rather have flatmates or live by yourself?_

“Flatmates all day every day!” Caspar clapped his hands together enthusiastically. “I always need someone around I can have a laugh with and that, living alone would be hell for me, it’s why Big Brother is so perfect for me!”

_Thank you, Caspar, you may now return to the House._

“Huh, that seemed really quick. Thanks anyway, BB!”

\--

“Why did that only seem to last like, two minutes?” Caspar asked his housemates as he returned to the living room.

“I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve heard that” Sean smirked, and Caspar threw a cushion at him just as Joe had.

“It only seemed like ten seconds to me, it was so fun though!” Joe high-fived him as Caspar made his way back onto the sofas.

“It really was! Some of the viewers have…. interesting opinions on us, it seems.”

“On us or on you?” Zoe asked, looking up from her and Marzia’s task of peeling potatoes for lunch.

“I mean, you’ll see for yourself, I’m sure.”

“I swear if you get asked the same kind of questions I did” Joe sucked in a breath and shook his head, and Zoe threw a potato peel at him, which landed in Joe’s hair, sending the man into a frenzy as he rapidly shook his head trying to get it out, which amused everyone else in the room.

“You can’t talk about it, idiot!” Zoe laughed, and dodged out of the way of the potato peel being thrown back at her.

_This is Big Brother. Would Tanya please come to the Diary Room._

Tanya emerged from the bedroom with a compact mirror in hand, and she dusted more powder onto her cheeks before resting the mirror and powder on the arm of one of the sofas. She made her way up to the Diary Room with the cheers of encouragement from her housemates behind her.

\--

_Hello, Tanya._

“Hi, Big Brother, how are you?”

_Tanya, as you are aware, today’s task is testing housemates’ honesty. Are you ready for your viewer questions?_

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess!”

_Is there anyone that you don’t trust at all? If yes, why?_

Tanya moved to a more comfortable position, and sat cross-legged on the Diary Room chair.

“Honestly, I don’t trust Sean as far as I can throw him. There’s just something off about him, nobody can be that… intense, not all the fucking time. I’m just waiting for him to crack. I think both he and Dan are playing the mister nice guy act. Phil too, actually. I wouldn’t put them on my Christmas card list, let’s just say that.”

_How do you feel about sharing a bed with a total stranger?_

“Honestly it doesn’t really bother me at all. The beds are big enough there’s no fear of anything happening and Niomi is the sweetest and most genuine person in here, maybe the only other genuine person here, so I’m glad I’m sharing with her and not anyone else.”

_What was the last dream you had?_

“You’re probably going to scoff but I dreamt that I was reliving my wedding day, from the second my eyes opened the morning of it to the second my eyes closed at the end of it.” She found herself sub-consciously twisting her wedding ring around her finger, and she smiled down at it. “It really was the best day of my life.”

_Has anyone ever forgotten your birthday?_

“I once had a boyfriend that did, yeah. Goes to prove what kind of guy he was, huh?”

_Could you betray a friend in order to win?_

“Yes.”

There were a few moments of silence before Big Brother spoke again, in which time Tanya bit her lip.

_Thank you, Tanya. You may now return to the House._

“Thank you, Big Brother.”

\--

“How was it?” Mark asked as Tanya returned.

“It actually wasn’t half as difficult as I’d built it up to be in my head,” she replied, “But maybe I had easier questions than everyone else, I don’t know.”

“Or maybe you have bigger balls than everyone else” Caspar suggested, and Tanya pressed her lips together as she picked up her mirror and powder from the sofa where she had left them.

“Yeah. Either or.”

_This is Big Brother. Would Marzia please come to the Diary Room._

Marzia finished the potato she was peeling and jumped up from her chair, and headed for the Diary Room.

“Good luck!” her housemates called after her, and she shouted a thank you back.

\--

_Hello, Marzia._

“Hi, Big Brother!” Marzia replied, and glanced around the Diary Room. “This is such a cute little room, I love it!”

  _Marzia, as you know, today’s task is to test housemates’ honesty via viewer questions. Are you ready for your part in the task?_

She grinned. “I am I am I am!”

_What do you think will be the hardest thing during your time in the house?_

“Having no contact with the outside world!” she pointed in the general direction behind her. “I thought this was all fake, like at night we’d all just go out and be with our families in a hotel with nice food and whatever, but no, it’s all real! We sleep here, eat here, bathe here and everything!” she tightened the bun on top of her head. “I’m really going to miss speaking with my family every night on the phone, and of course my puppies! I hope they’re being pampered right now.”

_Are you scared of the dark?_

“I wouldn’t choose to be in the dark, not outright. I love horror movies and horror movies are typically in darkness so I guess I should biased in favour of them, but I’d much rather be outside in daytime.”

_What are you looking forward to the most here other than the money?_

“Oh, I’m not expecting the money. I want to meet new people and make new friends and just do something different than my mundane routine, and what’s more unique than Big Brother?”

_What’s one thing you wish you had brought into the House but haven’t?_

“My grandparents bought me a locket for my twenty-first birthday and it’s always bought me good luck, but I completely forgot to bring it! Maybe its luck finally ran out?”

_If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?_

“It probably sounds boring but I absolutely adore Brighton! I’ve lived in Italy and, yes it was beautiful but it doesn’t compare to Brighton. It just has so many quirky shops and the most beautiful atmosphere and everyone is so kind and accepting of anyone and everyone and I love that, not many places in the world are like that!”

_Thank you, Marzia. You may now return to the house._

“Thank you so much!”

\--

“That was so fun!” Marzia exclaimed as she jumped the bottom two steps.

“Yours weren’t too savage?” Joe asked, craning his neck to make eye contact with her.

“Not at all!” Marzia smiled as she made her way into the kitchen to help with preparing lunch.

“She’s always smiley, isn’t she?” Dodie observed.

“I really envy it” Caspar nodded.

“We need moody people in the world too, though!” Dan shrugged, and Dodie smirked.

“You’re living proof of that.”

“I resent that.”

Dodie shot him a thumbs up and Dan pretended to be offended.

“I feel like on the first day we should be getting to know each other and stuff, learning about each other’s lives” Sean said, fully focused on twisting his microphone wire around his finger and back again.

“It’ll happen in time,” Joe replied, “But it’d be the fakest thing in the world if we all just sat around like we’re in primary school having to say three facts about ourselves or some shit like that.”

“Preach it!” Dodie air-fived him.

_This is Big Brother. Would Niomi come to the Diary Room._

“Woo!” Niomi cheered as she ran up the Diary Room steps, her housemates cheering her on.

_\--_

_Hello, Niomi._

“Hi, Big Brother! Lovely to be here!”

_Niomi, as you are aware, today’s task involves housemates answering viewer questions in order to prove their loyalty. Are you ready for your set of questions?_

“Ready!”

_Would you betray a friend in order to win?_

“Well, I don’t know if I know anyone well enough to call them a friend yet, except for maybe Tan? But I get the impression she’s a little… cutthroat should the time call for it, so as it stands right now? Who knows. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

_Who are you clicking with so far in the House?_

“I mean, I haven’t really had many in-depth conversations yet, I’ve basically been sat on the sidelines all the time. But Zoe seems so sweet and Dan does too, and I’ve had a laugh with Joe and Louise earlier, but everyone seems really nice and I look forward to getting to know them all better!”

_What are you going to miss most about the outside world?_

“Friends, family, my phone, food on demand… maybe some more materialistic stuff I don’t want people to judge me too harshly for…”

_If you had to evict a housemate on the spot right this second, who would it be and why?_

“I’d take the fall and leave myself. Everyone deserves to be here a lot more than me.”

Niomi moved to a more comfortable position and began playing with her braid which hung over her shoulder.

_What are you most looking forward to about the experience?_

“The tasks! I’ve always loved to challenge myself and push myself, and this is the perfect place to do that! I’ve loved every second of the audition process and launch night and everything so far, I’m so excited for it to continue!”

_Thank you, Niomi. You may now leave the Diary Room._

“Thank you so much!”

\--

"How was it?" Louise asked, and Niomi smiled.

"It was fine, I mean, nothing too taxing. I'm just excited for lunch though, if i'm honest!"

Niomi then walked into the kitchen, and a few of the housemates on the sofas glanced at each other, confused slightly over her short, sharp answer.

\--

With all the food now prepared for lunch in a couple of hours’ time, some housemates were now in the bedroom. Zoe, Louise, Marzia and Tanya sat in front of the lengthy mirror along the back wall, doing their hair and makeup.

“So what are you making of everyone?” Tanya asked, passing the few seconds until her hair was curled adequately enough on the curling tongs.

“Everyone seems really sweet” Marzia answered as she finished blending her eyeshadow, “I can’t see myself having a problem with anyone.”

“I mean, it’s only the first proper day, so of course you wouldn’t yet.” Louise reasoned. “Wait until people’s true colours start to come out” she wiggled her fingers in a weak attempt at being eerie, causing all four women to laugh.

“So do you have anyone on the outside, Marzia?” Zoe asked politely whilst fluffing up her hair.

“Oh, um, no I don’t,” Marzia replied, and her glance fell to the dressing table, where she found a sudden intense interest in her makeup palettes. “Not anymore.”

“Fuck I’m sorry I asked, I-“

“No it’s fine, honestly” Marzia smiled at her (albeit weakly), “It’s just still a bit raw. I’ll be fine.”

Louise pulled her into a side hug and squeezed her tightly.

“Do we know who else is single?” Tanya asked, her attention fully on her own reflection as she continued applying her makeup.

“Niomi and Dodie are, and as far as I know all the lads are too” Louise replied.

“They are,” Zoe added, “Joe told me. Apparently a group of them had a conversation about it last night.”

“When would that have been, then?” Louise scrunched up her face, “There was barely any time last night.”

“Before we all came to claim beds, I think. It’s just what he told me, is all.”

 “I wonder who the showmance of this series will be” Tanya posed the question with the most monotone of voices.

“It doesn’t necessarily have to be a showmance” Zoe put down her makeup brushes to look down the table to Tanya. “I believe things can be genuine on TV if both parties make the effort.”

“But genuine doesn’t get the ratings” Louise joked, lightening the mood.

Zoe pressed her lips together, stopping herself from speaking further, and continued with her eyeliner.

_This is Big Brother. Would Dan please come to the Diary Room._

“Good luck Dan!” Zoe and Louise called to the brunet as he got up from the sofas, and he waved at them as sign of thanks and made his way up to the Diary Room, the other housemates wishing him luck from the sofas too.

\--

_Hello, Dan._

“Hello again, television overlords. Pleasure to be here, once again.”

He cringed when he heard himself speak. In his head it sounded somewhat cool, however it definitely was not how it came across.

“People watching this, please don’t judge me for that.”

He waited for a couple of seconds.

“You’re not going to edit out the overlord thing but you’re going to edit out me asking you to edit it out, right?”

_Dan, as you are aware, today’s task is to test housemates’ honesty through answering viewer questions. Are you ready for yours?_

Dan fought to keep in his laughter from being brutally ignored by Big Brother, but he couldn’t help smiling.

“You bet your ass I’m ready.”

_What’s the most embarrassing thing your parents have ever caught you doing?_

“I know you’re expecting me to say jacking myself off or something, but I was always super careful with that. Only the family dog caught me once when I was a teenager, and I’m still working on making it up to him even nine years later. But to answer your question, my friend was doing a media project in school and begged me to help out, and it involved me having to film myself dancing around in full makeup and in a dress, the whole lot. I thought I picked a day my parents were both at work until late, so I raided my mum’s wardrobe and makeup bag and…. They came back early. It was an interesting conversation, explaining that whole situation.”

He shivered just reliving the memory. “My answers probably won’t be all that rambly, but good luck editing that.”

_What was the last dream you had?_

“I was a piece of chewing gum stuck on the bottom of someone’s shoe and I just went around on the bottom of this random person’s shoe all day and every time they stepped down it would be really painful and I screamed but nobody ever heard me… because I was a piece of chewing gum.”

Dan took a second to recount what he just said. “Please don’t refer me to a specialist.”

_Have you ever told someone something personal in confidence, only for them to tell everyone? What was it?_

“Yeah so one time in school one of my main bullies stole my notebook in class and saw the scribblings I had where I was sort of maybe drafting a poem for the person I liked, then the following morning jumped onstage during assembly and told the whole year group, who then proceeded to tell the whole school, and then everyone had even more of a reason to pick on me, as if being the emo kid with next to no friends who writes poetry wasn’t enough!”

He waited for a few seconds for Big Brother to respond. “Again, please don’t refer me to a specialist. Also I guess I didn’t technically tell _him_ but I told my notebook and it’s not my fault he stole it, and as far as I knew it was in confidence…. Wow my life’s been really sad hasn’t it?”

_Can you hold your liquor?_

“I mean, I’m not exactly a lightweight, but then again I’m not exactly a heavy drinker. Freshers week broke me back in the day and since then I’ve never had as much of a taste for it. But whilst I’m in here, who knows.”

_Phil said some great things about you, do you see yourself becoming particularly close to him or is there someone else in mind you’d like to be closer with?_

“Did he really? What did he say?”

He was met with silence.

“Of course you’re not going to tell me, because why would you. I’ll grill him about it later. But, I definitely see myself being close with him, he seems like the perfect kind of guy for late night conversations about video games and the Internet, which makes him a stand-out guy in my book.”

Dan began playing with his fingers in his lap. “Yeah, he seems great.”

He looked back up and into the lens. “But they all do, and I’d like to be friends with all of them and be close with all of them, it seems as if everyone brings something different to the House so far, everyone except for me. I don’t really know where I fit in, but I’ll find out. You picked a good bunch of people this year, good job.”

_Thank you, Dan. If there is nothing else, you may now leave the Diary Room._

“Please don’t make me look like too much of a bumbling idiot” he pleaded as he left the room.

\--

“Here he is!” Phil addressed Dan’s return to the living room.

“I just made the biggest twat out of myself in there” Dan laughed as he ran a hand through his hair and sat back down on the sofas.

“I’m sure you’re good,” Mark assured him and placed a hand on his shoulder, “Unless they edit it to actually make you look like a twat.”

“The thing is I feel like they have more than enough footage to allow that option.”

Louise grimaced. “Good luck with that then.”

Dan shrugged.

“But if it makes you feel better, I cried a lot during mine so they can make me look like a blubbering whale if they want to, so at least I’ll take some of the heat off of you” Louise ruffled Dan’s hair.

“Plus, I mean, it’s only an hour long show, so they can’t show all that much of anyone. I’m sure you’re building it up in your head much worse than it’ll actually be or actually was” Niomi comforted him from the opposite sofa, and Dan smiled at her.

“Thank you for making me feel better about making a complete ass out of myself, everyone. Free completely consensual air hugs for all” he moved his arms as if he was hugging a person in the air in front of him.

“You’re welcome” Phil answered, and Dan raised an eyebrow at him.

“You didn’t do anything, genius.”

“Hey, I helped!” Phil protested.

Dan shuffled over to sit beside him. “Oh yeah? What did you do?”

“I-“ Phil furrowed his eyebrows. “I sent good, supportive vibes! I just let everyone else voice them better than I could!”

“You, mister English university degree, let other people speak for you?”

Phil nodded decisively. “Yes, that’s exactly right.”

Dan laughed and flicked Phil’s fringe from in front of his eye.

“So, I heard something about you today, something interesting.”

“Oh really?” Phil fidgeted to a more comfortable sitting position. “Pray tell.”

“Well-“

_This is Big Brother. Would Phil please come to the Diary Room._

“This isn’t over!” Phil prodded Dan’s chest before getting up from the sofa and walking towards the Diary Room steps, cheered on by his housemates.

\--

_Hello, Phil._

“Hi! Nice to be back!”

_As you know, today’s task tests how honest housemates are by answering viewer questions. Are you ready to answer yours?_

Phil nodded eagerly and rubbed his hands together. “Bring it on.”

_Why do you want to win? How far are you willing to go?_

“I’m not expecting to win, and anyone that enters this kind of thing expecting to win has an ego a little too inflated for my liking, but honestly winning would mean so much to me because I never win anything? Like, if there was even just a one in two chance of winning, I’d lose. In fact, one time when I was little and my family went on a holiday to the coast, I went on one of those prize every time machines and it broke. Like completely malfunctioned and had to be put out of order for the rest of the week. So I didn’t win. And if that doesn’t accurately describe my luck then I don’t know what will.”

The memory always amused him to look back on, though.

“But as for how far I’m willing to go, does that mean do I have a game plan? Because, hand on heart, I don’t. It’d be way too exhausting to keep up a game plan in here! I personally have a hard time remembering everyone’s names so to have to keep up a façade and pretend to be nice or whatever all the time would just be too exhausting. I’ll just live my life and hopefully the public like that. If not, then I’m sure I’ll have had the best time in here so I can leave with my head held high. I don’t think I could stab anyone in the back to win, though, I wouldn’t be able to cope with the guilt. Plus I know my mum would be watching and she’d say ‘well that’s not how he was raised’ whenever anyone asked, and I couldn’t live with my whole hometown being ashamed of me.”

_What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made in bed?_

“Are you allowed to ask that?” Phil laughed as he cupped a hand over his mouth, though soon dropped it after realising he wasn’t getting a response.

“I guess you are, and you’re going to. So as tempted as I am to say ‘choosing to leave it in the morning’ or something mildly funnier, you all want honesty so… one time I said the wrong name. Which I suppose is, in some cases, acceptable but I had been with the person for four months. And it was our anniversary.”

Phil scratched the back of his neck and laughed nervously.

“I can’t believe I just admitted that on national TV. Sorry, mum! Don’t show grandma or anyone we know this bit, yeah? Also sorry to… that person. No hard feelings?”

_Who in the House do you want to see without clothes on?_

Phil leaned forward in the Diary Room chair and looked directly into the lens, and tried his best to maintain his poker face, but he broke down into laughter after a second or two.

“Are you serious, Big Brother? Why are mine all sexual? Stop trying to embarrass me!”

He rested his head in his hands and rocked back and forth in the chair until the heat in his cheeks died down a little.

“Why do you assume I want to see anyone in the House naked? I’ve not even known them all a day yet!” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, no comment. Move on!”

_Are there any tasks you hope Big Brother won’t make you do?_

“Anything remotely physical or sport related. Sports and Phil don’t mix…. Phorts, phorts isn’t a thing. One time I threw up on a trainer’s shoes at a gym. By one time I mean last year, and I’ve been scarred from trying again ever since. I much prefer just to cheer other people on at the sidelines, I won’t get hurt that way.”

_Are you looking for love in the House?_

“Is anyone?” the answer was almost instinctive.

“I mean, I’m always open to it, but there’s no way in hell I’d apply for this show just with the hopes of hooking up, that’s not my style and never will be. But I’ve been raised to live by the motto ‘everything happens for a reason’, so if it happens then it happens. I need to get to know everyone a lot better before you get excited though!” he wiggled a finger at the camera.

_Thank you, Phil. If there is nothing else, you may now return to the House._

“Has everyone else’s questions been this sexual too? Or are people for some reason seeing something in me that I don’t and directing them all towards me?”

_If there is nothing else, Phil._

“Of course you won’t tell me.”

_The Diary Room door is now open._

“I’m watching you!”

\--

“Oh, here he is, man of the hour” Dan joked as Phil reached the bottom of the steps.

Phil walked over to the sofas and rested his hand on the arm of one, the other rested on his hip.

“Can I just ask one question about this task?” he asked the group, most of the housemates were now in the living room as it had begun to rain whilst Phil was away.

Dodie lifted the sunglasses from her eyes and made eye contact with him. Upon seeing him looking slightly frazzled and worked up about something, she sent him a sympathetic glance. “Probably best not to, we don’t want to give them a reason to punish us.”

“I still don’t get what they could punish us with, it’s only the first day” Sean was tossing and catching a water bottle with Mark.

“Put us on rations, turn off the hot water, put us all up for eviction…” Dan was counting the possibilities on his fingers. “Switch off the appliances, take away all the makeup, take away our suitcases-“

“Stop giving them ideas!” Mark laughed, and Dan held up his hands.

“Could they really do that?” Tanya asked.

“They can do whatever they want, we signed a contract to be here that pretty much says we’ll suffer through whatever they want” Joe reminded her, and she nodded and laid back down.

“We’re hardly slumming it though, are we?” Caspar gestured to their surroundings, “This is the fanciest place I for one have ever been.”

“Where have you been all day, Lee? I haven’t seen you much today” Louise looked up from painting Marzia’s nails.

“Doing stuff and things” Caspar shrugged.

“Is that an innuendo?” Zoe joked, and Caspar rolled his eyes playfully before turning back to Louise.

“Why, did you miss me?”

Louise reached over to smush his cheeks. “It’s part of the mother hen’s job to know where everyone is all the time.”

“To be fair there’s not exactly a million places I could be, we are stuck in the same four walls with no escape” Caspar smirked, and Louise ran the nail polish wand over Caspar’s cheek, causing him to recoil and gasp.

“Less of the sass!” she laughed as Caspar bolted up from the sofas and ran into the kitchen to wash it away.

“What’s got into him?” Phil asked as he took Caspar’s spot after returning from the kitchen.

“He’s trying out a new look” Marzia replied, and she and Louise shared a laugh.

“I’ll pretend like I know what that means” Phil smiled, and Louise, with a mischievous grin, reached over and did the same thing to Phil.

He sat frozen in place and stared at Louise and Marzia, wide-eyed.

“How long until this hardens?”

“I get the feeling that’s not the first time you’ve asked that question” Joe whispered as he appeared behind the sofa and joined in the conversation.

Phil only pouted at him before getting up and walking back into the kitchen, and joined Caspar over by the sink as they both frantically wiped at their cheeks to remove the nail polish.

_This is Big Brother. Would Mark please come to the Diary Room._

“Finally my time is here!” Mark cheered, and wasted no time in jogging up the Diary Room steps, the cheers and good luck wishes of his housemates behind him.

\--

_Hello, Mark._

“Hello!” Mark had to stop himself from practically bouncing with excitement. His initial excitement from even being in the House had still yet to die down, and he was savouring every second of it whilst it lasted.

_Mark, as you’re aware, today’s task is testing housemates’ honesty. Are you ready for your viewer questions?_

“Yay! Ask me!”

_When was the last time you took orders from someone?_

“Last night during the launch when I was told where I needed to go and where I needed to stand. And, I guess earlier this morning when you told us the rules of the task. So yeah, then.”

_Would you pick Chica over the Big Brother cash prize if you could only have one?_

Mark placed his hands on his cheeks.

“What kind of devil sent this in?” he gasped. “But if you want the brutal honest truth… Chica is priceless to me, I’d pick her any day. Even though being a hundred grand richer would be nice. It’d have to be converted into dollars anyway even if I won and that’s a lot of effort. Chica all day every day.”

_Have you ever been to a nudist beach?_

“I’ve walked past one, but I’ve never technically been to one. I admire the people that do though, love yourselves!”

_If you found five hundred pounds on the street, what would you do with it?_

“Again, like earlier, it’d have to be converted to dollars first of all, but I’d donate it to charity. There are a lot of charities that are close to my heart and many of them are grossly underfunded so it’d be split between them. I’m sure whoever dropped it or lost it or whatever wouldn’t mind.”

_How do you feel about sharing a bed with a stranger?_

“I think in a matter of hours, not even days, Sean won’t feel like a stranger, we already get on so well. We initially bonded because we both love video games but we soon took to making fun of each other’s accent, which was so funny. And we spent a bit of time earlier this morning in the garden planning some pranks we might pull later in the week, we’re such similar people! But to answer your question, I don’t mind at all. It was one of the main things I was most worried about when I signed up to this but I honestly shouldn’t have worried, it all worked out.”

_Thank you, Mark. The Diary Room door is now open._

“Thank you for sending questions in!” he blew a kiss into the camera, “And thank you for asking them!” he blew a kiss to the ceiling, not knowing where exactly Big Brother’s voice came from.

\--

“People are so nice” Mark smiled as he sat back down on the sofas.

“Thank you, I think I am too” Dodie replied as she handed him a drink, after making her first trip to the kitchen for everyone. They’d played a game of rock paper scissors and she was the ultimate loser, and ended up having to make the snack and drink run.

“Your questions weren’t… out there?” Phil asked between bites of his sandwich.

“I don’t think we can talk about it” Caspar jumped in.

“Surely we can talk about it in a general sense, as long as we don’t go into specifics?” Joe pondered, and Sean threw his arms up in the air.

“Even if we can’t, what punishment can they give us on day one!”

_This is Big Brother. Would Dodie come to the Diary Room._

“Ha, bye!” she dropped a chocolate bar onto Dan’s lap and sprinted towards the Diary Room steps.

“But you didn’t finish getting our stuff!” Joe whined, and Dodie shrugged.

“Duty calls, sorry about it!” she sang as she entered the Diary Room, to a mixture of cheers of encouragement from some housemates and groans from others who now had to get their own food.

\--

As soon as she sat in the Diary Room chair, she burst into laughter.

“I’m sorry I just need a minute to calm down, that was just so funny,” Dodie sat back in the chair and rubbed her hands over her face. “You called me in at the best possible time I swear, thank you for sparing me from getting everyone’s lunch and shit like that.”

_Hello, Dodie._

“Sorry I’m rambling, that was just perfect timing.” She sighed and placed her hands in her lap. “Hello, Big Brother.”

_Dodie, as you are aware, today housemates are taking part in a task which determines housemates’ honesty. Are you ready for your set of viewer questions?_

“I am I am I am! Hit me with those viewer q’s and I’ll hit them right back with the a’s” she tried her hardest to resist doing finger guns yet again, which involved her having to sit on her hands. “Please know that wasn’t a threat to the audience I was just, you know, trying to be funny. And failing. Please… ask the first question so I can stop waffling on.”

_Do you always swear that much or is it just for the show?_

Dodie crossed her legs to get more comfortable. “I swear a lot? What have you been showing of me, BB?”

She laughed and brought her hair over her shoulder and began wrapping a lock around her finger.

“But no, it’s not for show. I just talk how I talk and I guess I swear a lot by the wording of that question. My grandma may be disappointed in me but… sorry about it!”

_If you were to win this season, what would you do with the grand prize?_

“Okay we actually chatted a little bit about this earlier whilst we were waiting to be called up here, and a lot of people have the same idea I would. I’d give a lot to my parents and put a bit aside for my sister’s university fund, help pay for my grandad’s nursing home costs… then of course put a little bit aside for me, because, you know, why wouldn’t I?”

_What do you think you could gain as a housemate?_

“Being able to stand on my own two feet, mainly. I’ve always had a tendency to become a little too, like, dependent on people in the past, so this is a complete new experience and hopefully I can grow some balls, so to speak.”

Dodie leaned forward and placed her hands around her mouth. “Also a couple more friends wouldn’t hurt, I’m not exactly the epitome of popularity” she whispered.

_What do you think you’ll miss the most?_

“My parents, my sister, my grandparents, my cat, my friends…” She reeled them off on her fingers. “But I’m sure that was obvious and what everyone else would say, but it’s the honest truth. Oh, and luxury food. And my grandma’s roast dinners. And my instruments.”

She laughed. “I guess I’ll miss a lot, I’m very comfortable in my everyday routine.”

_Are you looking for love in the House?_

“Definitely not. I don’t really know if I believe in being able to genuinely falling in love on TV, you can never be sure if the other person would just be in it for the ratings, you know? But I can’t rule out kissing… a girl has needs, and who knows how long I’ll be in here for, I may be deprived…”

She looked off to the side for a couple of seconds. “Yeah I definitely can’t rule out a little kiss, but who knows. Nobody seems my type.”

“If you edit that to make me look like… that kind of person, I’m not going to be happy, Big Brother!”

_Thank you, Dodie. If there is nothing else, you may now return to the House._

“I’m not going to be part of a showmance!” she pointed into the lens and narrowed her eyes before jumping out of the chair and leaving.

\--

“Oh look at you all with your food!” Dodie exclaimed as she jumped down the bottom three steps, and some of her housemates turned to look at her.

“No thanks to you” Niomi joked, and Dodie shrugged.

“I can’t help when the people need me and my quality content.”

“So it went well? Not too brutal?” Dan asked, and Dodie shook her head.

“Not really, just honesty and home truths aplenty.”

She then headed into the kitchen to pick up the rest of her own food.

Sean pointed at Zoe, who was on the opposite sofa.

“Which of us is going to be last?”

Zoe placed her hands on her hips. “Does it mean we’re the least popular?”

Sean placed a finger to his chin. “Or does it mean we’re the most popular?”

“Um,” Joe chimed in and threw a ball of foil at Sean, “I resent that.”

“Can’t exactly blame the public if it’s true though” Zoe joked, and Joe pouted.

“My own sister, already turning on me. I’m hurt, truly hurt.”

_This is Big Brother. Would Zoe come to the Diary Room._

Sean threw the ball of foil at Zoe as she jumped up off of the sofa.

“I’m the most popular!” Sean cheered, and multiple housemates shook their heads.

“Least popular” Caspar replied.

“Least popular” Mark and Louise agreed, and Sean flipped them all off and sat back on the sofa with his arms crossed across his chest, whilst Zoe ran up the stairs and smiled warmly back at her housemates when she was at the top, as they were all cheering her on.

\--

_Hello, Zoe._

“Hi, Big Brother!” Zoe replied chirpily whilst getting herself comfortable in the Diary Room chair.

_Zoe, as you are aware, today’s task involves housemates answering viewer questions in order to prove their honesty. Are you ready for your set of questions?_

Zoe clapped her hands together and grinned. “Ready!”

_How many times have you been in love?_

“Twice.” She sighed. “The first time obviously didn’t work out and I wish that it never happened, he was the biggest ass on the whole planet, and I don’t mean that in the complimentary way. I don’t care if he’s watching this, he knows what he did. But the second time, this time, I couldn’t be happier. We have a house, we have a dog, we have a nice little life together and I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

_Do you think the fact that you’re in the House with your brother is going to be an advantage or disadvantage?_

“Listen, Joe and I can drive each other up the wall, but at the end of the day there’s nobody else I’d want to do this whole experience with. Plus, I mean, I lived with him for nineteen years under the same roof so what’s a couple of weeks going to hurt, provided we both stay in for that long. So to answer your question, a definite advantage, I love my brother to death.”

_What’s a lie you tell about yourself to make yourself look better?_

“That I’m not riddled with anxiety and definitely cannot burst into a panic attack at any random second. Kinda throws a lot of people off, you know?”

_Who in the House do you trust?_

“It’d be incredibly naïve of me to say that I trust anyone wholeheartedly at this point, except for my brother, obviously. We haven’t even been in the house a full day yet, I’ve only just been able to put names to faces, so to say I trust any of them completely would be a lie, it takes a while for me to learn to trust anyone. You know, the whole ‘I’ve been burned’ in the past kind of deal. That. But I can definitely see a couple of housemates who I see myself getting close to and trusting for however long I’m in here for!”

_If you could pick any one of the housemates to be your slave for the day, who would it be?_

“Obviously Joe, just for the lols. He’d hate having to wait on me hand and foot and cater to my every wish, so if you could make that happen… that’d be great.” Zoe winked.

_Thank you, Zoe. The Diary Room door is now open if there is nothing else you wish to talk to Big Brother about._

“Thank you so much for having me!” Zoe smiled into the camera and got up to leave the Diary Room.

\--

“Did you get roasted?” Joe asked as his sister returned.

“Nope, not even lightly toasted” she smiled back, and he shook his head.

“Biased.” He handed Zoe her water bottle she’d left with him. “Unless, of course, I’m making better TV than you, so I got the more interesting questions…”

Zoe shrugged. “Could be. We both knew I wasn’t going to be a loudmouth or conventionally interesting housemate when we signed up for this. I probably only get accepted onto the show because we’re siblings.”

Joe groaned. “Come on,” he dragged out the vowel sound, “Bite when I’m trying to annoy you! Give into my bait!”

Zoe patted his head. “Nope, nice try though.”

Joe sighed as he stood up. “Fine, I’ll go torment Caspar, he always falls for it.”

“In a few days’ time he’ll be immune to it too!” Zoe called after him, but Joe just waved before walking out into the garden where Caspar was sunbathing with Marzia and Tanya.

“Will we be able to talk about the questions we got once the task is over?” Phil asked the group.

“I don’t see why we wouldn’t be allowed to,” Louise answered, looking up from filing her nails. “But I’m sure they’ll tell us. Or one of us could go up to the Diary Room and ask.”

“Dibs not me” Sean shot his hand up in the air, and everyone else in the room followed suit.

“Guess it’s one of those in the garden that’ll be asking then” Mark laughed as he nodded towards the garden.

_This is Big Brother. Would Sean come to the Diary Room._

“Most popular!” he exclaimed as he jumped up from the sofas, and laughed when he was met with a chorus of “least popular” from the housemates in the living room.

\--

_Hello, Sean._

“Hi!”

_Sean, as you are aware, in today’s task housemates are answering viewer questions in order to prove their honesty. Are you ready for your set of questions from Big Brother fans?_

“I am! Lay those sweet viewer questions on me, Big Bro!”

_Who do you relate the most with in the House and why?_

“I mean, obviously this could change as I get to know everyone better, but as it stands right now? Mark and Joe have a really similar personality to me and they’re both so charismatic, we’ve had a few really good conversations so far. I had a conversation with Dan and Phil earlier about different video games and it sounds like we’re all as hopeless as each other, so I _really_ relate to them in that respect. I’ve not had a full conversation with any of the girls yet, really, except for like passing conversations in the kitchen or whatever, but I’m so excited to get to know everyone better!”

_Is loyalty an important trait to you? If not, what is?_

“Of course it is, I can’t deal with flaky people. I’ll speak to anyone and be nice to anyone, but I can’t be friends with someone who is a flight risk like that, you know? I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine, it’s a two way street and friendship is the toll booth… that makes no sense, does it?”

_What comes first? Friendship or success?_

“For a second I really thought you were going to ask the age old question of the chicken or the egg, thanks for helping me dodge that minefield. But obviously friendship! What’s the point in being at the top if you’ve got nobody to share it with?”

_What is one thing you know you won’t lose on the journey to come?_

“My green hair!” Sean grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged on it lightly and beamed at the camera. “I’ve seen all the products and hair dyes in the bathroom so I know for sure it won’t have the chance to fade. Thank you, product placement!”

He paused for a second to laugh. “I know you’re going to edit that out.”

_What do you like most and least about your appearance?_

“I’ve never really thought about it, if you want me to be perfectly honest, not since I was like a teenager. But I guess I like my hair and my eyes? And dislike? I guess it’s this weird patch in my beard type thing” he leaned forward and circled his finger around the area he was talking about, “my face just wants it to stay soft and supple and hairless… like untouched snow on a winter morn.”

He sat back in the chair and drummed his fingers against the arms of the chair. “You’ve made me really conscious now, why’d you ask me that?” he laughed nervously.

_Thank you, Sean. If there is nothing else, the Diary Room door is now open._

“Thank you! Thank you, viewers! You’re all great!”

\--

“That was like lowkey brutal” Sean said upon his return to the living room.

“Were yours sexual or just grilling?” Louise asked.

“The latter, I guess? Made me evaluate some stuff which, you know, I could’ve done without having to do in the middle of the afternoon.”

“I’m sure the reward will be worth all our troubles, for whoever gets it anyway” Dan received nods from his fellow housemates.

“When’s your reward coming?” Niomi asked Phil, who shrugged.

“They just keep saying in due time, so maybe it’ll be at the same time as the one for this task, I don’t know.”

“Speaking of, do we know how long we’ll have to wait for the results from this task? Or will it be tomorrow?” Zoe asked.

“Probably tomorrow, if the past seasons are anything to go by” Dodie replied from in front of the mirror where she was fixing her hair into a ponytail.

Zoe jumped up and flicked her hair off of her shoulder. “Hey, does anyone want to make a cake?”

The randomness of the question left a few housemates glancing at her slightly wide-eyed.

Dan slowly raised his hand, as did Louise.

As the three of them headed into the kitchen, Joe laughed.

“I love how this House goes from talking about tasks and rewards to just random shit like wanting to bake cakes. Is stir craziness already setting in?”

Niomi laughed with him. “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“I’m already forgetting what my parents look like!” Caspar wept dramatically and rested his head on Phil’s shoulder.

“This is an absolute madhouse” Louise stated with a grin.

“And this is just the beginning” Dodie reminded everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> Special shoutout to people over on @youtuberbigbro on twitter for submitting all the questions, and my friend Rachel who sent in a ton for me to use too! (none of the questions are made up by me, they were all asked by you!) Be sure to check out the twitter account for all things about this fic and to get involved with future tasks and whatnot, i love talking to you all over there!
> 
> In the comments, let me know who you thought was the most honest in the task (that person wins the reward) and what you're making of all the housemates so far and who your favs are, as well as what you made of some of the housemates' answers and any predictions you have etc, let's get a couple of good discussions going :)
> 
> I hope you're still enjoying the fic and thank you for all the support so far!
> 
> xx


	5. Day Two: Results of the Task & Housemate Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so i decided to adopt a new writing style for this fic so it's much more Big Brother-esque and i can write about each housemate more fairly/equally this way and i really like it so yeah don't mind me just switching up the writing style from this chapter onwards
> 
> (also thanks to everyone over on the @youtuberbigbro twitter for keeping me sane throughout this writing process)

**_7:40 a.m. – The housemates are waking up to a sunny day in the Big Brother House. Zoe, Sean and Louise are in the living room._ **

“I honestly thought I would be the only early riser in here” Zoe laughed.

“I actually hate sleeping, I’ve kind of adjusted over the years to have as little as humanly possible” Sean shrugged, and Louise shot him a confused look over the rim of her mug.

“You hate sleeping?”

Sean nodded. “I always want to be productive and actually doing something, and I can’t do that whilst sleeping!”

“See, I admire that,” Zoe said, “I just always wake up really early, always have done. I wish it was for an aspirational reason like that but I’m just weird.”

“When you both have kids your lives are going to be turned upside down” Louise laughed.

“Let me find someone to settle down with first, then we’ll talk” Sean was looking down at his cereal bowl.

“I still feel too young, I feel like at least another three years before I even consider it” Zoe stated, and Louise nodded.

“I respect that.”

\--

**_10:45 a.m. – Dan, Phil, Joe and Caspar are in the garden, talking about the honesty task._ **

“So what’s the deal with this task again? The viewers choose who wins?” Caspar asked.

“I assume it’s through polls,” Dan replied, “And someone’s going to win something.”

“Though someone already has a reward coming their way” Joe grinned at Phil, who shrugged.

“Can’t help that I’m great at secret tasks already!”

“Speaking of,” Joe sat up and slipped his sunglasses down his nose so his gaze easily met Phil’s, “I’m still not forgiving you for making me fucking slut-drop after less than half an hour of being in here!”

“You both looked great though” Caspar commented, and Joe squeezed some water onto Caspar’s chest, then dropped the empty bottle onto him.

Caspar bolted upright, sending his sunglasses flying off of his face. “You fucker!”

Joe then burst into laughter, and Caspar gradually laid back down and continued with his sunbathing.

“I’m actually so mad I missed all of this launch night fun” Dan pouted.

“The producers liked you the least so they put you in last, deal with it” Joe joked, and Dan threw a cushion from the nearby bench at him, which Joe barely dodged.

“You can always watch it when you get out” Phil suggested, and Dan crossed his arms over his chest.

“You insinuating I’ll be out soon?”

Phil’s eyes widened. “No not at all! I was just-“

Dan cut him off, unable to maintain his poker face and laughter escaped him.

“You’re the worst!” Phil swatted him lightly on the arm.

“I’m surprised it took you that long to work it out.”

\--

**_11:35 a.m. – Tanya, Niomi and Marzia are in the bathroom, talking about their fellow housemates._ **

“Some of these people are going to be a handful” Tanya said casually as she continued to buff her nails.

“What do you mean?” Marzia asked as she sat in front of the mirror, curling her hair.

Niomi sent a questioning look at Tanya.

“Just in the sense of, like… I don’t know, I just get the impression certain people aren’t going to chip in and stuff.”

“Who do you mean?” Niomi asked.

“Well,” Tanya began dusting powder onto her face. “Take last night for example, you two offered to help me clean up, so did Zoe and Mark… but nobody else. I’m not picking up all the dirty work in here, I refuse to.”

“It’s only the second real day, though” Marzia reasoned, and rested down the appliance. “I don’t think it’s entirely fair to judge people based on one experience.”

Niomi nodded in agreement.

“I’m just saying,” Tanya held up her hands in surrender, “Mark my words. Especially in a situation like this, you take everything laying down and you’re going to get trampled on.”

“We could always call a house meeting” Niomi suggested, and Tanya scoffed.

“It’d be a waste on the majority of people in here, believe me.”

\--

**_12:41 p.m. – The housemates have been gathered on the sofas, for the results of yesterday’s task._ **

_This is Big Brother. Housemates, following yesterday’s honesty task, the public have been voting for the housemate which they believe to be the most honest. As you know, this housemate will win a very special reward._

Caspar rubbed his hands together.

“Bit cocky, aren’t you?” Joe joked, and Caspar shoved him.

“I just love the suspense, jackass.”

_Big Brother can reveal that the two housemates with the most votes are…_

“Okay I get what you mean about the suspense” Sean grinned at Caspar, and leaned forward as he awaited the results. Caspar grinned back at him.

_Phil and Louise._

“Me?” Louise’s hand flew up to her mouth, and Zoe pulled her in for a hug.

Phil made his way to sit beside Louise, and they took each other’s hands as they awaited the final result.

“I really want it to be you, I don’t want to have two rewards” Phil said, and Louise squeezed his hand.

“I hope it’s you, you deserve it!”

From the opposite sofa, Tanya and Niomi shared a glance.

_Big Brother can now reveal that, with fifty-nine percent of the final vote, the winner of the honesty task is…_

“Good luck, you two” Dan smiled over at the two of them, and they smiled back.

_Louise._

Louise immediately jumped up and clasped her hands over her mouth, and Phil jumped up too, to pull her into a tight hug.

“Congratulations!” his voice was muffled, as was Louise’s.

“I never win anything!” she exclaimed, and the rest of the housemates applauded.

“Go Louise!” Mark cheered, and various other housemates whooped.

_Louise, as your reward for winning the task, you have been granted immunity from the first eviction._

This only made Louise’s eyes widen, and she squealed into her hands.

Zoe jumped up to hug her then, as did Dan.

The rest of the housemates continued to applaud and shout their congratulations.

“You wouldn’t have been going anywhere anyway!” Dodie shouted over, and Louise smiled at her.

_Housemates are now free to leave the sofas._

Immediately, some housemates did. Tanya and Zoe headed to the kitchen to begin preparing lunch, Dodie, Joe and Caspar headed into the garden to continue sunbathing, and Phil and Marzia went to the storeroom to continue unpacking the week’s worth of shopping into the kitchen.

Dan, Sean, Mark, Niomi and Louise stayed where they were, lounging on the sofas.

“How does it feel to be immune, then?” Niomi asked, and Louise ran a hand through her hair.

“Honestly? I’m so fucking relieved. Nobody really wants to be the first one out, do they?”

Everyone shook their heads.

“It’s weird to think that soon enough we’ll be one person down” Dan said.

“We can’t talk about the you know whats” Mark warned, and Dan waved him off dismissively.

“Not when we haven’t even made them yet, don’t panic.”

“Yeah, trust mister dork superfan over here, we can’t fail with him on our team” Sean joked, and Dan flipped him off.

“I have no idea who I’ll pick when the time comes, though” Niomi began tossing her water bottle up in the air.

“Still a few days until you have to decide” Dan shrugged, and Niomi nodded.

“There is that, yes.”

Sean stood up and began dawdling towards the bedroom. “I know exactly who I’m going to pick.”

Everyone watched him go, then turned to each other with confused looks.

“Was it something we said?” Mark asked the group, and everyone shrugged.

\--

**_3:33 p.m. – Phil has been called to the Diary Room, to be given his reward from his secret task._ **

_Hello, Phil._

“Hi!”

_Big Brother knows you’ve been waiting patiently for your reward from launch night._

Phil raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t say waiting patiently, but I’ve definitely been waiting.”

_Your patience is about to be rewarded._

“Did you not just listen to me, Big Brother?” Phil laughed, “I’ve been anything but patient!”

_Phil, Big Brother’s reward to you for successfully carrying out your secret task is…_

Phil leaned forward in the Diary Room chair, his hands under his chin. “Is?”

_… A killer nomination._

His eyes widened. “What?”

_Phil, whoever you choose to nominate will automatically face the first public vote. Please give the name of the housemate you wish to killer nominate and your reasons for this nomination. Big Brother would like to remind you that as Louise has won immunity, she cannot be nominated._

“You’re making me do this _now?”_ Phil asked, and placed his head in his hands.

_Yes, Phil. Big Brother needs your nomination now._

“I don’t know anyone well enough!”

_Phil, please give the name of the housemate you wish to killer nominate and give your reasons for this nomination._

“I can’t even begin to-“ Phil rubbed his hands down his face. “I honestly don’t know who I could nominate…”

_Phil, Big Brother needs a name._

Phil ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I have no choice…”

_No, Phil, you don’t._

This caused him to momentarily crack a smile, but it quickly faltered.

“Okay fine, I’m going to give my killer nomination to Dodie. Purely because she hasn’t made as much of an effort to get to know me as much as everyone else has. Which I guess is my fault too, I should make the effort more with her. Plus she kind of… secludes herself a bit from the rest of the group, from what I’ve seen.”

Phil sighed and put his head in his hands again. “She’s going to hate me for this.”

_Phil, just to confirm, you are giving your killer nomination to Dodie, correct?_

“Regrettably.”

_Thank you, Phil. You may now leave the Diary Room._

“I’m actually just going to stay here for a little while, if that’s okay…”

_Of course, Phil. Stay as long as you need._

\--

**_3:45 p.m_ **

Louise and Zoe were waiting for Phil on the sofas as he re-entered the House. They both wrapped him into a hug.

“You… saw that whole thing, didn’t you?”

Both women nodded slowly, and Phil groaned. They hugged him again.

“How did Dodie take it?”

“To be honest she didn’t really react, she just kind of accepted it” Zoe replied, and Louise nodded.

“Yeah,” the blonde agreed, “She kind of just nodded and didn’t say a word, then headed into the bedroom as soon as we were dismissed from the sofas.”

“Is she still in there?” Phil asked.

“Think so” Louise pulled him into another hug. “Don’t beat yourself up too much over it, yeah? It’s all part of the game.”

“And for what it’s worth,” Zoe placed a hand lightly on his arm, “Thank you.”

Phil smiled at her then headed for the bedroom.

\--

Joe, Dan and Sean were sprawled on a couple of beds at the far end of the bedroom chatting about something Phil couldn’t hear, and Tanya and Marzia were sat at the vanity table comparing makeup products.

Dodie was laid alone on her bed, staring up at the picture of her family which she was holding above her head.

“Can we talk, please?” Phil asked quietly, and Dodie turned to look at him.

She sat up and patted the space beside her.

“I understand why you did it,” she said, “You don’t have to apologise or anything.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s impossible for everyone to have gotten to know everything about everyone else in only a couple of days. I still don’t know the first thing about most people here. It’s fine, honestly. I could see how much it was tearing you up in there.”

“I’d really like to get to know you better, though, if you’d like to.”

Dodie smiled. “I’d like that too.”

Phil cautiously opened his arms. “Hug?”

Dodie smiled again and moved into his embrace.

“We’re okay?”

Dodie nodded. “We’re cool, don’t worry. Just gives me a kick up the ass to be more sociable.”

They both laughed.

\--

**_5:47 p.m. – Following being killer nominated by Phil two hours ago, Dodie has come to the Diary Room to talk to Big Brother._ **

_Hello, Dodie._

“Hi, Big Brother.”

_How are you feeling?_

Dodie laughed, though there was no emotion in it. “I’ll give you one guess.”

_What are you making of your housemates?_

Dodie sighed and leaned back in the Diary Room chair.

“Honestly, Big Brother, I’m kind of feeling… like an outcast, I guess.”

_How so, Dodie?_

“I don’t know if it’s because I’m the youngest or if it’s because I don’t have any striking common interests with anybody like everyone else seems to with each other… But I just don’t seem to be gelling with anyone all that much, and I don’t know why.”

_Have you tried talking to one of your housemates about this?_

“There’d be no point, they’d only either put it down to not having enough time to get to know me yet, or they’ll start giving me special treatment and attention which I _don’t_ want. I’m a good judge of character, BB, I can pick up people’s personalities and intentions,” she paused to click her fingers, “Like that. And so far I just don’t see myself having any deep-rooted connections.”

_Big Brother thinks you should talk to one of your fellow housemates about this, as Big Brother does not like knowing one of the housemates feels this way._

“Then put someone in here that I can really get along with!” Dodie whined, and rubbed her hands down her face. “No but I’m sure I’ll grow up in a day or two. I just need to mope for a bit, acknowledge I could be going home, and really start making the effort with people. There are a few that seem really nice and some that don’t, so I’ll definitely not be making the effort with a certain few.”

_Who are you talking about?_

Dodie tapped her nose. “I’m not having you edit this to make me look like a bitch, I know this show like the back of my hand.”

_Dodie, if there is nothing else, you may return to the House. But Big Brother strongly recommends you take one of your housemates aside and discuss how you are feeling._

“Noted.” Dodie nodded, and stood up. “Can I please leave?”

_Of course, Dodie. Big Brother will call you back to the Diary Room in the near future._  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just to clarify:
> 
> Louise is IMMUNE from the first eviction due to you all voting her the most honest housemate from the task, meaning none of the housemates can nominate her.
> 
> Dodie is DEFINITELY facing the first eviction due to Phil's killer nomination, and because of this she cannot be nominated either.
> 
> thank you to everyone over on @youtuberbigbro who got involved with the task polls (and also a poll about septiplier, which was a definite yes from you all) and for getting involved with all my tweets and gif games and stuff, it truly does mean the world to me that people care about this little fic, and if you're not already i highly recommend you hop over to twitter and check it out because it's where 99.9% of stuff surrounding this fic goes on, and you should definitely have your say (there's always something going on, i'm very active there)!
> 
> But as always, please leave a kudos and comment letting me know what you thought and share the fic with anyone who you think might like it, aaaaaaaand leave your predictions!
> 
> Thank you, YouTuber Big Brother 'viewers' xxxx


	6. First Nominations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things before the chapter begins:
> 
> This takes place a few days on from the last chapter. Basically, I wanted to skip a few days so the housemates now know each other better and are out of that awkward beginning phase, and now we can have actual decent conversations between them and start... certain subplots that I have planned and you voted for over on @youtuberbigbro so yeah, this is coming up to being their first full week in the House, which a couple of the housemates refer to so just be aware of that for future chapters. And, I briefed people this chapter isn't a normal one, I just thought it would be easier to dedicate a chapter solely to nominations so they're not randomly spread out throughout the day, I would find it easier if I were reading it so yeah
> 
> Secondly, I've decided to change the tense of the writing so it goes from past to present. If you read any of my other fics you'll know it's how I write all the time now and it's just natural for me, so yeah be aware of that for the future too, this fic is still in the early stages we cool it cool
> 
> BE SURE TO CHECK THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END TOO AFTER YOU'VE READ THE CHAPTER!!

**Zoe**

_Hello, Zoe. Would you give Big Brother your first nomination, and explain your reasons for this nomination._

“Okay so my first nomination is Mark, purely because we haven’t really spoken that much yet, he seems a really nice guy though!”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and your reasons for this nomination._

“My second nomination is Caspar, purely because he’s spending too much time with the other Sugg!”

Zoe smiles.

“It sounds stupid, I know, but him and my brother are already as thick as thieves, have been since launch night, and I’ve barely had chance to speak to him because of it!”

\--

**Dan**

_Hello, Dan. Please give the name of your first nomination and your reasons for this nomination._

“Okay, I’m nominating Tanya because I just don’t get a good vibe from her. Frankly, I’m intimidated by her sometimes. It’s just not what I need when I’m on holiday, you know?”

_Please give the name of your second nomination and your reasons for this nomination._

Dan runs a hand through his hair and bites his lip. “I’m nominating Caspar.”

He rubs his hands over his face and groans. “Which I hate doing, but I just feel like conversation is forced to a point between us. I think it’s because we’re like polar opposites, he’s sociable and attractive and likeable… maybe it’s jealousy, come to think of it.”

\--

**Niomi**

_Hello, Niomi. Please give the name of your first nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“My first nomination is Phil, because I just feel he unfairly killer nominated Dodie. Like, I don’t get why he did it. Maybe it’s me clutching at straws, or maybe he did have some ulterior motive. I don’t need game-players like that here, especially not ones that reveal themselves in the first week.”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“My second nomination is Joe. He’s just a bit too eccentric for my taste. It’s a good trait to have, don’t get me wrong, but when I’m living in the same four walls as him for however long we’re both here, it’ll probably start to annoy me.”

\--

**Mark**

_Hello, Mark. Please give the name of your first nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“My first nomination is Zoe, because I just don’t feel like we’ve connected much. I don’t know if it’s because one of us just hasn’t made the effort or if we’re just subconsciously not meant to gel together but yeah, I’ve basically spoken to everyone else more.”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“So, I’m nominating Sean. Which, don’t get me wrong, I feel bad about, because I really get along with the guy and I like him a lot. But the way he just stormed out of the living room the other day when it wasn’t really justified just seemed a bit… off to me, maybe even a bit shady. It could be nothing, but it’d be wrong of me not to nominate him when it did make me a bit uncomfortable, does that make sense?”

\--

**Louise**

_Hello, Louise. How does it feel to be immune from the first public vote?_

“Still surreal! I’ve seen most people who’s nominated so far come down with glum faces to some extent so I guess now comes the hard part, security blanket of immunity or not.”

_Please give the name of your first nomination, and your reasons for this nomination._

“My first nomination is going to be for Sean. Basically, when he went all Hulk the other day and stormed out of the living room when nobody really said anything to set him off, it intimidated me, and I didn’t like it. If he’s a hot-headed person, this House is definitely not the place for him to be, not confined with eleven other people.”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and your reasons for this nomination._

“My second nomination is for Niomi.” Louise sighs. “She only wants to talk to Tanya! If she’s come in here and said that nobody else talks to her, it’s her own fault!”

\--

**Joe**

_Hello, Joe. Please give the name of your first nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“My first nomination is for Niomi, for the reason that she’s just not really making an effort with anyone but Tanya. I know Louise and my sister have tried a hundred times to try and get to know her, but she just never wants to know. It’s not the kind of person I want to be sharing this House with.”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“The second person I’ll be nominating is Dan. On launch night, he was really quiet and gave off those ‘please don’t talk to me I’m really nervous’ vibes, which was fine obviously, we were all nervous, but he’s just not really come out of his shell at all, like there’s been no development. He’s still awkward and a little shy… we’ve been in here basically a week now, we all know each other kind of well… except for Niomi… but I still feel like I know the bare basics with him. It’s a shame.”

\--

**Marzia**

_Hello, Marzia. Please give the name of your first nomination, and your reasons for this nomination._

“My first nomination is Tanya. I feel like, in blunt terms, she’s being purposefully problematic. I don’t know if she feels like it’ll be good TV or whatever, but I don’t like it.”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and your reasons for this nomination._

“My second nomination is Dan. I just feel like he’s not really made the effort to get to know me or talk to me. He seems a nice guy and all, and this might change by the next nominations if we’re both still here, but for now yeah. I’m nominating Dan.”

\--

**Sean**

_Hello, Sean. Please give the name of your first nomination, and give your reason for this nomination._

“My first nomination is Tanya.”

Sean leans forward in the Diary Room chair, and looks straight into the camera.

“I trust the woman as far as I can throw her. She’s said so much shit that I feel like I’m walking in a manure factory… ignore that horrific metaphor, I was improvising. But basically she’s two-faced and a liar and I don’t want her in this House. If she stays, and I stay, I can’t wait for you all to see that come to light.”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“Caspar is my second nomination. The guy is just a completely different person in the morning and evening. Once he’s got a couple of drinks in him he’s all over everyone and everyone’s best friend, but in the day he’s kind of mopey and only sticks to his little group, and says maybe one word to anyone else. And then he also goes back for seconds on every meal… like come on dude, we _all_ live here! He’s the best person to play beer pong with, though, I’ll give him that.”

\--

**Dodie**

_Hello, Dodie. How does it feel knowing you’re facing the public vote?_

Dodie leans back in the Diary Room chair.

“Amazing, perfect, brightens my day, lights up my life.”

She blows some hair out of her eye. “That was sarcasm. It fucking sucks.”

_Please give the name of your first nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“My first nomination will come as no shock to anyone, I’m sure. I’m nominating Phil, purely to get even. Now I’ve done that, it’s all water under the bridge, we can have a fresh start, blank canvas, all of that. Just had to equal the scales a little there, as much as I could.”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“My second nomination is Caspar. I know it’s his nature, and the guy’s a laugh and all, but the constant flirting is way too much for me. Listen, I like a good flirt just as much as anyone, but when it’s all the time, it begins to grate on you. If he just tones it down a bit I’m sure we’ll all be grand and living in the candy floss clouds but for now, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells sometimes.”

\--

**Caspar**

_Hello, Caspar. Please give the name of your first nomination, and your reasons for this nomination._

“So my first nomination is for Tanya, she’s just really secluded herself, and to be honest she’s really done it to herself. She’s not really been very open or inviting, and I for one have been scared off by it. If it is a gameplan, best of luck to her.”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“Similarly, I’m nominating Niomi. She’s isolated herself with Tanya, and she literally only talks to Tanya. I know some of the other girls have tried to include her in conversation before but she always just walks off to wherever Tanya is and almost just follows her around all day. It’s a shame because she seems so sweet.”

\--

**Tanya**

_Hello, Tanya. Please give the name of your first nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“I’m sure it’ll come as no surprise that I’m nominating Sean. He’s just a snake. Nobody can be that intense all the time, as I’ve said before, and I don’t trust a single word that comes out of his mouth. Just watch him carefully is all I’m saying. Don’t fall for the façade.”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and give your reasons for this nomination._

“Obviously Phil. What was with that killer nomination shit? It was so shady, targeting Dodie like that. Honestly, I wish I could nominate Dan too, they’re practically the same person anyway, but Phil just really shot himself in the foot with that killer nomination, the guy’s up to something.”

\--

**Phil**

_Hello, Phil. How are you feeling about your killer nomination?_

“I still feel awful, thank you for asking. I can tell Dodie’s still hesitant to talk to me, and I completely understand why. I just wish we could draw a line under it, it kept me up the other night.”

_Please give the name of your first nomination, and your reasons for this nomination._

“My first nomination is Marzia. Looking back over the past few days we’ve not really had any one-to-one conversations, only ones as part of a bigger group, and I haven’t established a connection with her as much as I have with everyone else in the House.”

_Please give the name of your second nomination, and your reasons for this nomination._

Phil bites his lip and looks down at the ground. “I know at some point I’ll regret this, but I’m nominating Dan. He’s the person I’ve bonded with most in here, and we have so much in common and I like him a lot, which I think is why it upset me a little that he so clearly judged me for nominating Dodie. I had to nominate someone, and I barely knew anyone _except_ for him at that point, and I could just feel the judgment radiating from him after I gave Dodie’s name. As a superfan or even as a friend I thought he’d be able to empathise or something but, I don’t know. It’s been playing on my mind for a couple of days now.”

\--

**4:45 p.m. The housemates have been gathered on the sofas for the results of the nominations.**

_This is Big Brother. The housemates with the most nominations thus joining Dodie in facing the public vote are…_

Not a single housemate speaks, everyone is waiting with bated breath. Everyone except for Dodie, who sits back against the sofa, looking around with mild disinterest.

_Tanya…_

Tanya scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Obviously.”

Zoe offers her a comforting smile, which Tanya ignores. Joe presses his lips together, having seen the whole ordeal.

_Niomi…_

“What a shock” Niomi laughs, and Tanya smiles at her.

They high-five, and a number of the other housemates exchange glances.

_… And Caspar._

Caspar nods, and Joe gasps.

“What?” he asks nobody in particular, and immediately brings Caspar in for a hug.

“I have to say I wasn’t expecting that one” Louise says quietly, and Phil nods in agreement.

_Housemates are now free to leave the sofas._

The housemates disperse into different areas of the House, some comforting those nominated, some returning to the tasks they were doing before.

Dan and Dodie remain on the sofas, looking over at the wall of pictures with the Housemates’ pictures.

“Any second now they’ll turn red” Dodie observes, and Dan nods.

“It’s so nice having a fellow superfan in here.”

“Might not be in here much longer, though, that’s the thing.”

Dan looks over at her. “How are you feeling about it?”

Dodie shrugs. “Honestly, I’ve already kind of made my peace with it. There’s nothing I can do about it so there’s no point sitting here and bitching about it. If I go, I go. Would I be gutted? Yes, obviously, but the public know who makes good TV, so only time will tell.”

“A diplomatic approach.”

Dodie laughs. “First time I’ve ever heard that one.”

“Look, we’re going red!” Caspar calls over from the other side of the room, and a number of housemates jog over to watch the nominated housemates’ pictures turn red for the eviction.

“Now here’s where it all really begins” someone says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO there we have the first eviction lineup: Caspar, Dodie, Niomi and Tanya.
> 
> As we speak, i'll be posting a poll over on the @youtuberbigbro twitter account where you can vote to save your fave! It's a vote to save, so vote for your favourite housemate of the four over there, and whoever gets the least amount of votes after a week will be the first evictee, and their eviction & exit interview will be the next chapter :)
> 
> Oh, and you shouldn't need a twitter account to vote on the poll so it's worth hopping over there to vote for your fave to make sure they don't get evicted, even if you don't have twitter! but if you do, follow the account to get frequent updates about this fic :)
> 
> Shoutout to my friend Rachel who helped me with the nominations (getting a fresh pair of eyes, a reader's pair of eyes, helped me ensure the nomination reasons all made sense and it wasn't just me assuming tension etc that wasn't there) and shoutout to my friend Emily who got her first Dan notice on twitter!
> 
> So, in the comments, let me know if any nominations surprised you or whose reasons you liked/didn't like etc, let's just chat it up!
> 
> Sorry this hasn't been updated in a while, life stuff started back up again and made finding time for writing a bit more difficult, but thank you for your support xxx


End file.
